statement of guilt~

i am starving. a lil bit stress searching for the right thesis topic. and feeling guilty.

a good mix adequate to make an emo Nurul tonight.

what ever i do, i always have this attitude to consider everything or everyone. meaning what will the response from the people around me if i do such and such. ALWAYS been like that.because i believe we dont live alone. we live together. but...because of this, many hearts will be broken.

example, if i make one decision, it might be agreed by A and B. But probably not C. then, C's heart will be broken by ME!.

or if i choose to satisfy C, A and B will hate me. then, WHAT ABOUT ME?

this is the truth that i hate to face everyday. really. why cant just once, JUST ONCE let me choose anything i want to do. not always. but give me some space. Everyone around me is significant. but can this one time the person that will be the most significant in my life is myself?

i am hitting around the bush. because i dont want to hurt anybody.i am torn between 2 parties. please. please. please.

currently i've hurt both parties. i think. i know. some have dropped hints. some have painfully lashing me with words. ok. i got u.

but this time i will protect my heart. be angry at me as you wish. because i cannot take it anymore..