is teaching really for me?

Currently being at own home in Lendu, i try to put away the thought that i have to return to hell tomorrow. haish~

it's been a week since i reported myself as a practicum teacher in the 6th corot school in Malacca. honestly, i had a hard time last week. And my motivation level was DOWN to zero because of form 1 students.really really down and demotivated. rasa nak nangis tak yah cakap la. but i didnt cry. RASA je..hehee

i got form 1 and form 4 classes to be taught.i have entered both classes and frankly speaking, i love the form 4 students more. although they were all boys, maximumly naughty, i prefer to enter their class. i abhor entering the form 1 class after sort of being bullied..sort of okay..they bullied me psychologically. i shouted most of the time and one time i scolded one girl so bad that currently she hates the guts out of me. haish~

for a week experience, i knew i have langgar many teacher ethical codes. i shouldnt say certain words. shouldnt refer to them as monkeys. i REGRETTED. but what to do, you can reverse a sampan but not your words. now i have to think of a way to tackle form 1 back.

oh i am still learning and searching the best way to teach. to tackle studetns. to control the classroom. but, we are lucky because out of 8 weeks of practicum, i;ll be teaching for 4 weeks and a half due to exam week.hahahahahahaha *evil laugh*

ooh i love form 4 students.they are evil, rude, and harsh in speaking. but somehow that's how malaccans roll~ they call me many names: cikgu kecik, cik ain, teacher, cikgu, puan, madam. they refuse to call me nurul. saje nak buat aku menyampah..lantak kau la..i have troubles to teach this class as their English proficiency is badly low. i used a primary 3 grammar level oso they cannot do.but it's not their fault. English is not their 2nd language but more to foreign language kot.

there's one student mocking me saying that i am too short to hit them. wah kemain ko usik aku kecik..so i climbed onto a chair and i was way taller than them. agik asa..but they just laughed. haish..macam-macam..

that's all from now. actually there are a lot more. tapi sape peduli aku ramble sorang2 kan?