I read Vivy's latest post just now kinda made me ponder on myself right away. She talked about appreciating your husband and stop comparing them to your friends', siblings, celebrity...etc. I do that sometimes (honestly) but I have never wished to marry some one else other than B. NEVER. And InsyaAllah, will never be. He is the best gift god has ever given to me and I wouldnt trade him for anything.
Now that he's back in Bintulu, it's my part to deal with his non-presence around me. Since he knocked me up, I find it becomes difficult to say good bye or to go home to an empty room where his smell still lingers. It's easy for me to break down and sob like no body's business. It's even easier to indulge in self-pity mode. But, Alhamdulillah, it was never long, the period. I would let few tears out, and Baby A would kick as if saying 'you have me mommy'. With that, I took a deep breath, let out a long one, got up and walked out of that situation. I did that every single time. And it worked. But the cycle is going to repeat everytime B and I bid farewell.hehe
It's hard because I want B to be in every single step, development for the baby. And trust me, he is trying super hard to be in the picture. But it still breaks my heart everytime he saw me for the first time and said 'The bump looks bigger than the one I remember'. It's hard because I dont want him to say the same thing when Baby A is born. I cant imagine he's missing the first smile, the first laugh, aish...i cant go on....
We are going to go through this, Allah is going to help us. Till then, let's fight together, me amor =)
