Wonderful

Today I feel better. I had 6 periods of teaching. Given it's Ramadhan, that's a challenge. Especially when you do all the talking.hehe

Today in Form 2 class, I was teaching grammar. The same boy gave me headache. He was noisy, playful to the extend of annoyance, and well, rude. This time my approach was to ignore. I've been told that he likes attention. So I thought, I'm not giving any to him. Plus, this boy has good command of English. I needed to focus on weaker students.

I was explaining about Simple Future Tense. I had to explain 3 times because a few students still couldnt get between 'will' and 'going to'. Mind you, I had an annoying boy, trying to get all my attention, making noise as much as he could and matching his noise level with my voice. Then I heard many vulgar words, and the Fuck, bitch, and anything you could imagine.

This time I stopped explaining. I felt challenged. and the fact that he used those words, in my class, in front of other students, I had to do something. He crossed the line. Too many lines in fact. So I glared at him. And as usual, he wanted a glaring contest.

I uttered word by word.

"V, if you dont want to be in my class, I dont mind. You can always go out. You can always leave my class."

*paused*

"You can leave my class, NOW!!"

I had enough. So arrogantly, he walked right in front of me, with the attitude, and stood outside.Then I continued,

"I dont care whether you want to learn or not. You are blessed because you speak English at home. Some of your friends here, DON'T! So respect them because they want to learn!"

So I continued teaching. Bla bla bla bla until 2 periods were gone. When I stepped out of the class, I heard 'teacher, teacher'. I turned around. It's the boy, being pushed by his 2 friends.

"Teacher, V wants to say something"

I waited. 'What?"

"He wants to say sorry teacher"

Hmm.. No, I couldnt hear anything.

Then the boy exasperately'Teacher, I'm not used to this. This is hard" he said apologetically.

"Write to me then. I want a love letter"

Excitedly he said 'alrite teacher, done. Tomorrow I give it to you"

Then I walked away.

For a teacher, at least for me, although the boy did not apologize with words, his apologetic look was enough. It made the whole things different. This boy had been calling me names but when he did what he did, all my anger went away. Magic huh?

Snippet

I have StyleStar playing on tv now. I miss blogging. I logged on blogger few times a day but I lost my words.

Last week had been nothing but a roller coaster ride to me. Pms-ing, works, students took a toll on me, especially my emotions. To date, I am 2 days late for period. No funny thoughts please. It's just a normal sign that I'm in stress zone. Last February, I was 5 days late for the same reason. hehe

How are you pretty people? I hope this Ramadhan brings more happiness to all the muslims. I pray that I will too.

Distance

I miss him. super bad.

Learning Curve

I have very few experience in teaching. Though I've been in this business for almost 8 months now. I still need to learn a lot from the seniors, need to find my strength and weaknesses in teaching.

Today I was not well. Unfortunately, twas the day where I had to teach for 6 periods, 4 periods straight without a break. The first two periods were in Form 2 class. No drama here.

Then I entered my lower 6 science class. For the first time ever, I felt like the students were taking advantage of me. Of me being lenient, being too understanding about the stress and pressure they got from other subjects. I've become or MUET has become a place for them to punch their frustration. Most of the time I had to have screaming match with them. A small teacher, surrounded with giant kids, around 17 years old and above, speaking language that I dont understand. For a moment there I felt like I've lost the battle. Lost to control the supposed to be mature students.

When I gave out instructions, they were talking to each other, walking around, passing notes, doing math/physics/chemistry, discussing about K-POP, everything not related to MUET. The class reached the peak of noise. What I did was I sat on the stool, had my chin supported by both hands and observed them. And thought, 'Nurul, you've failed'. I felt a pang of sadness there.

10 minutes later the class went really quite. The students became curious. They asked me questions, but I didnt budge. I kept staring at them. Few minutes later, one girl started to speak (it was a speaking activity and I gave them the topic last week). The discussion went well without me having to intervene. Then I spoke. For the first time, I spoke firmly and had that serious tone in the voice. and for the first time the whole class listened. I pointed out the flaws on my sides and their sides. I laid out classroom rules for the second time. and I stressed how this time I meant business. 

That's the drama in lower 6 science.

Now let's move on to lower 6 arts, the period came straight after the science. I entered and waited for the students to arrive. It's a combine class. While waiting, I set up my laptop. We were having one listening test. Just like the previous class, MUET was treated like a punching bag. Few students said they were not ready for the test and all the nonsense in the world they could give. I was tired and weak. And didnt bother to respond. Well I did respond. Sarcastically. All the excuses given I answered with the answers that could stab into their hearts. Until one boy said 'teacher, why are you so serious today?' 

Few minutes before the class ended, I wrote a topic for speaking activity for tomorrow on the board. I told them to go back and do some research about the topic and we could discuss tomorrow. And they started with their never ending dramas about how they have few tests coming, few essays to write for PA, maths problem to solve bla bla bla. I almost, almost almost shouted bullshit. But this time around, I could control the anger better and said 'A story of students' lives. Embrace it.' the moaning continued bla bla bla and firmly I told them 'Dont make your problem my problem'. Well that shut them up.

Basically today was a bad day. worst day ever. I feel like I've failed. I think I tried too hard to be liked by students  that I neglect the importance of staying on a border line between a teacher and students. I'm going to change. I hope I'm not too late.

That' all for today's rambling.

Boooo

B was in town for 6 days which was the first time since the wedding we spent time together for that long. I've grown accustomed having him around,seeing his shirts lying on the floor,the smell of his perfume lingers in the room. So you can imagine how hard it is for me to send him to the airport and come home to my empty room. :-(

I enjoyed his presence the whole time. I did cook for him once (the target was to cook for every meal but i failed). I prepared roti john for buka last night.wanted to make roti jala but mom did that first.boo hoo

Getting up early for sahur was the best experience.we would shake each other's up and forced one another to go wash up first.the latter could continue sleepin.haha apart from that, mom still had very little trust on me about how i serve my husband. For every meal,sahur or break fast, she would comment about what i should do. For example, "nurul get a glass for sepul" or "nurul sepul nak tambah nasi lagi" =______='

Currently we are waiting for the news regarding our future.this could be a turning point in our lives. Hopefully it's for the best for us and oyr family.

Ting tong teng tung.... "Attention to all passengers flight AK 5112 to Bintulu, your flight is now ready for boarding"

'Air mata kasih berlinangan........'




Nahhhhh..i'm not the sobbing type especially in public.wahhahaha

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So far, life is good

If I know getting married is this awesome, I would have married B long time ago.hehe

Been silence because B is in town. All my attention is on him.

So far I'm happy. Alhamdulillah. I have a husband who loves me, who can get along well with my family especially Abah, who can be a good imam for prayer. I'm thankful. Really.

Yesterday when I was at work, B followed Abah to the orchard, helping when necessary. B said Abah was talkative, telling stories, brought him to have breakfast at Induk's. For tea break, Abah brought him to Alor Gajah to eat roti canai. There were sooo many things that the both of them talked about. Something I rarely do with Abah.

One of the reasons why I cant get Abah is this:

 

 =_____________='

But I;m not scared of it tho. Only one animal scares the hell outta me.

Anyhoo, last week Abah sold his bike. He had no time to play with it anymore.Kinda sad for all of us because it brings so much memory. Did you know none of us were ever allowed to ride the bike? Except few times for my younger brothers. almost 14 years.

 

Last picture before parting. Thanks bike. You've served well =)

 

 

Candid

 

Today Nad tagged 3 photos of me on Facebook. This is one of those. 

I love all my candid photos.hahahaha

Scene above: Ikha was too indulged with the cupcakes. She was oblivious that she was staining my wedding dress. wuuuuu

hahahahahaha

Good time then.

Waiting.

Today was crazy. Work, colleagues, anger, frustration. But I dont wanna talk about work. It will get on my nerve.

This morning as I entered the office to get the register book, I saw a form for CRK (Cuti Rehat Khas). I took 2 sheets, filled in the details and knocked on the principal's door. Am lucky to have a principal who comes early everyday.hehe

Bid salam and greet good morning. Shyly showed him the form.

HM: Why do you want to take a day off.


Me: emm..family matter sir.


HM: *reading and scrutinizing*... how many days you want?


Me: One day only.Thursday.


HM: Thursday? How bout Friday? Will you come on Friday?


Me: yeppp I will. only one day.


HM: why do you want to take a day off??,,,, oh family matter. what family matter? eh sibuk je saya ni nak tau.haha ----- yeap he did say that.


Me: my husband is coming home sir.


HM: Ooo so you are going to fetch him at the airport?


Me: ermm... yes sir.


HM: *left his signature*

OOOOYEAYYYYYYYYHHHHHHHHHHHHH BABY!

Haha it's not that i'm going to fetch B at the airport.He will come on Tuesday. Thursday, We plan to tour around Bandar Hilir. muehheheh Stadhuys, Afamosa, Kapal Besar, Taming Sari Tower. Ooo yeahhh. newly-weds style!

 

The babies at Sarawak Cultural Village.

I inserted our picture for this post but deleted it. I feel shy shy to put our picture together. Dulu time dating tak malu. dah kawen malu.hahaha so will do the babies to substitute la okiess?

Better

I feel so much better today. Alhamdulillah.

I'm catching up with work baby steps. I'm still learning how to balance my work. Hopefully I can become a fast learner because works dont wait baby!

Those pics were taken during our so called honeymoon. Well it was supposed to be our honeymoon but I fell sick. Bummer! Reason?

I binge-eating seafood on the night of our arrival and suffered food poisoning for the rest of the vacation.woooo... I'm a huge fan of crabs but if some body show me a plate of crab right now am gonna barf. I suffered diarrhea and vomit which had successfully ruined the whole honeymoon period.


And because of that, B wants to have another honeymoon but we have yet to choose the place. huraaahhhhh! 


I'm thinking Singapore right now. or Perhentian. B wants to go to Korea. I dont think so.haha 

Take me home

Last week was too overwhelming for me.

I got a Form 2 class for English subject and they took away my Civic class.

Taking over another class during midyear is suicidal.I dont know the students and I have syllabus to catch up. I've entered the class and I'm tired starting all over again - getting to know the kids, the attitudes, being emo. There's this one Indian boy in the class. he loves to say 'fuck' and look at me. I asked the previous teacher and she told me that boy is testing me. It's either fuck or shit. and he will shout those words in the class when I was teaching. damn boy!

Apart from that drama, i'm chasing the students from the 2 civic classes to hand in their folio. I'm tired. The due date was 2 weeks ago. Next week I'll fill in the borang salah laku. Tired of being too nice.

Then come other events/meetings/letters..

I got tricked into doing somebody else's job too and lost my Saturday. They whole time I was in school I felt rage inside of me. Kerja tak ikhlas. I just couldnt talk myself into doing it. I was forced.

And tonight I just found out I lost my thumb drive which basically stores my soul. Official letters, meeting minute, contact no, proposal, moduls Oh just kill me now.

With all the mumbo jumbos, can somebody take me to B? I miss him. I need to go home. I need to see him. I need him to hug me and say everything will be alright. My pendrive is temporarily hiding from me. The students will hand in their folio next week. Anyone? please...

My Saturday

I'm working right now. From 8am to 5pm on Saturday. Tho i think i already have too much on my plate, i am still the lucky broom. Alwaysssss something for me to sweep. Nehmind Nurul. It's a learning process. Life learning. You'll be learning your whole life. What the fish am i rambling here? @.@

I miss my hubby. He's flying home to celebrate Ramadhan in Melaka. Excited? Hell yeahh!! Been thinking many many types of food that i will cook. Tho i'm not good at it, it's something i look forward to: cooking for my man.

Lapar...i didnt have breakfast this morning. Kroeeoookkkkkkkk!!

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Learning Process

I'm getting crazier because of those.hehe my school is organising workshops for STPM candidates and inviting all the school around Melaka to join. I've been making calls, faxing letters, drafting, meeting and screaming.muehehehe but I love it. I get to deal with many Form 6 GPKs around Melaka. and just now an officer from JPM called asking about the programme. I wasnt sure but I goreng-ed and I think I've answered well.muehehe the questions include why we have on certain dates or times. what's the purpose bla bla bla. 

My sister is spending her semester break at home. I'm blessed to have sisters who cook, bake really really really well. One of them could beat masterchef contestants and the other sister can open up a bakery. Me? I'll be the regular customer.muahahahaha

Finding my roots

I feel lost lately. Ok not lately but since a month ago. I dont know why I wake up everyday, get ready and find myself driving to school at wee hour.

Every time I entered a class, I would search for the answer on the students' face. The answer on what to teach that day. Days passed and I find it's getting hard for me to focus.

One could easily see my mobility in school. I am a secretary for one workshop organised by the school so you could see me walking in a very fast pace up and down - the busiest woman ever in the school...yea as if...

I think I have a problem. I'm still finding the balance to prioritize my works. Juggling between classes, lesson planning, other tasks.

Today the book supplier came and he helped to lift one boulder off my shoulder. For 4 days, I got RM3K cash under my care. Money for MUET text books, PIBG fee and school magazine fee.

Today also I entered one of my muet classes, teaching nothing. I was supposed to do listening activity but the radio decided to kill itself and I had no backup plan. I entered the class and explained to the students. they were more than happy to chat. I should have my contingency plan. I really should.

Bottom line - I am not prepared. I have my lesson plans but I find it too boring so I dont really follow it and I dont find the need to make the lesson interesting. What's happening to me? =(

I think I have too many things to handle. But so far this is the first time I'm letting it off here. I believe other teachers have bigger things to handle too. I need to learn how to manage my work more efficiently.

My desk is turning into a small hill. Books, files, papers are piling.

agagagagagagagagagaga.....!

New venture

There are major changes in the time table last week. Majorly because the arrival of a new group of teachers. For me, it's because of the shortage of teacher for MUET. The school receive an unexpected number of lower six students i.e. 247 in total with only 3 teachers. Ergo, the principal pulls another teacher to join the Form 6 force.

And because of that, the new force has to let go one of her Form 2 class and the class is given to me. I will no longer teach Civic Ed (yeayyy!) but I'm a bit worried too about where to start. And the class will start tomorrow.huuuu

As I told before, I had 60 students from Arts stream for MUET. Since we are splitting the students equally into 5 groups, each teacher will receive around 28 students. I am given Arts 2 and 3 students from Arts 1 to be in my class. There's one student from Arts 1 who came and told me she wants to be in my group. The problem with her is she doesnt want to even try to speak in English or participate in any activity. When I asked her something, she anwered in BM, not a single word in English. Even when she wanted to go to the loo, she would ask in BM =__='

Back to the story, I told her if she wants to be in my class, she would need to speak more in English. She kept quite. I feel bad thou but I believe it's good for her. The teacher that will take her class is not a Malay and I believe it would do her good. She will be forced to speak in English.

This is common according to my head panel. Malay students will feel comfortable if a Malay teacher teaches them English because they feel the teacher will back them up or be less strict with them. The weak ones will not show any effort to do English.

Just the other day, a senior teacher who's going to retire in August asked me this,

"Ain, why Malay students dont want to speak in English?'

"Aaaaa.....I'm not sure...various reasons la sir....'

'How you can speak English...how did you do?"

'...ermmm... I think its my parents. my father taught in brunei before where the syllabuses are in English and he always speak english at home bla bla bla'

'Oooo...I'm going to retire soon still cannot get my malay students to speak in english......'

'......'

It's frustrating.

Some of my malay students tot I was born with good english. =________________________=

Bring the boys out

Found this pic in my bro's album folder. Love!

Wisma Sanyan Sibu =)