Implanon: The Testimonial

I had my C-Sec on 24 August 2013 i.e. Minmin's birthday. hehehehhe

A day before I left the hospital after 3days2night there, my doctor asked which contraception method I would use. Reasons I needed it:

1. They cut my belly open coz Minmin was too big and lazy and refused to come out (hahahahah...ok mommy kidding)

2. My blood reading i.e. HB was not pretty through out my pregnancy so I need at least a couple of years to stabilize it (got it from my momma)

3. I was still traumatized with the pain when the doctor threw this question. So any method to stop another baby coming was welcomed. (at that time only)

So... after discussion with le hub, I decided to go for Implanon. Why? Less hassle. And one thing, it doesnt disturb milk production, which is the main advantage that drew my attention. I did a little research for the cost, side effects, where to get, how to get basically everything and got the minor surgery (cheh!) a week after confinement ended.

A lil bit of details for interested parties out there:

1. Where? : I got it done at one of LPPKN Clinics in Ayer Keroh, Melaka. Had to set the appointment first coz they dont do it everyday. Certified doctor did the insertion for me. Took less than 5 minutes. Left hand numb the whole day. hew hew...

2.  Cost: RM320 in 2013. Heard the price has gone up this year. The cheapest I could find. Private clinics charge more.

3. The procedure: Inject anesthetic, then insert that thanggg. The size is as big as a match stick.

4. Expired after 3 years.

5. The side effects: There are many. But am gonna tell the effects that I kena ok.

• irregular period. Started coming after Minmin was 8months old (delay could be due to BF). BUTTTTTTTTTTTT the length of the cycle drove me crazy. Each cycle lasted for a couple of months. Every timeeeee! Not heavy flow, more like spotting but still... rimas mak ok!
• Acne on the face. erghhhh...
• Weight gain. Erm... actually not sure whether this is the side effect but i need something to blame.hahaha I started eating healthy and going to gym but no changes. except lost 1kg. so really guys, i need to blame this implanon.
• Not pregnant. hahahahahaha

 

Image googled. Pretty much how it looked in my left arm. That's not my arm. Haram ok tunjuk aurat. hehe

You'll be given this card to keep...... In case you forget you have something in your arm that has an expiry date. hahaha

So, due to the first side effect, I decided to remove this susuk last week. I really cannot tahan with the long menses period. So I took it out at a private clinic. If you are from Melaka and intend to remove yours, can go to KLINIK MAIZA, Cheng. Charged only RM40. Less than 5 minutes all's done! But of course, need to make appointment first ok.

So, that's my honest testimonial about implanon. Not much but honest. cewah!

Hope this post helps you in any way it can.

Have A Nice Day.

p/s pardon all the grammar error. Not feeling like a teacher tonight. Feeling like me.

Optimist

It's the 18th day since we entered 2015. Gotta say I feel better each day. I feel fresh. I feel optimist. I havent felt stress or depress or unhappy. Or negative. Unlike my 2014

This by far the longest time I feel relax since forever.haha Alhamdulillah for this blessing.

I can just pray for this good feeling to continue. Be positive everyone!!

The Cliche Post - Good Bye 2014

Before I type this entry, I read all the posts for 2014. A mixture of happiness, sadness, emo-ness, esctaticness. But mostly negativities.

I gotta admit. I'm a negative person this year. At least my personal life. I had a deep thought. Ransacking my drawers of memories trying to recall what had I done this year.

And one conclusion arrives.

I did everything.

- Mommyhood

- Wifeyhood

- Career

And I put myself at the bottom of my priority. So I guess that's why I was so negative.

In 2014, I was so busy raising a human being. Diligently pumping every 3 hours and if I missed one session, I would be so stress for the rest of the day. I was tired. I was moody. And the commitment in school. and I also my husband was not around. I was constantly under stress.

It's emotional roller coaster for me, trying to adapt to a new change, from a person to a mother. I think I posted somewhere in my blog that motherhood didnt come naturally to me. Though I thought it would but it didnt. Unfortunately. I didnt get to experience the moment when you got to see your baby for the first time all is well again. For a record, it wasnt my baby's face i saw first but his genital.hahahha I was so high with drugs but I remembered the nurse showed me Minmin's genital and asked me to guess his gender. Duh!

Then when I tried to feed him he rejected me. I think somebody needs to do a research that breastfeeding does not only affect the baby. It affects the mommy too. It affected me so bad that I hated myself for failing to do so. And because I failed, I was punished to become an EP mom. No matter how much I tried to comfort myself that I still did the best, honestly I couldnt. To these days. 

So much emotions riding inside me that my year was so negative. It affects me as a person. My marriage. It affects my physical too. My skin conditioned worsened with acne, uneven skin tone, eye bags and I gained weight. My BMI now is 24.2 which is so near to being overweight. 

So...that's me in 2014

But in 2015, I want to change. As cliched as it sounds, I really want to be ME again.

 Let's see what will happen next.

I hope I will get the chance to travel next year.

Bye 2014!

Post exclusive pumping

Just like when i started my journey as a pumper, i received many comments about my decision to stop pumping.

"Eh anak kau baru setaun kan? Kan afdholl sampai dua tahun?"

"Laa..susu ada lagi kan? Sayang nya nak berhenti...."

"Kalau ikut sunnah ko kena bagi susu anak sampai 2 taun bla bla bla..."

Those who has been with me through out the journey's responses...

"Takpela ..ko dah bersusah oayah buat yg terbaik selama ni.ok dah tu"

"Respek ngan ko.sebab EP mom ni m
mg susah.aku yg blh direct feeding ni pon bila nak pam buat stock hazabbbbedah rasa"

Well mix reactions I wud say. Though it hurts my feeling when people condemns it doesnt stop me of my decision. It is damn hurtful,as if I stop loving my baby by doing so.

Well again,there's a silver lining behind every dark cloud. A few days after I made my decision, i was down with coughing. A couple of nights ago a bad cough followed by asthma attack left me almost breathless and weak. Yesterday i went to see the doc again.

And this time i was prescribed with a higher dose of medication because the last dose has stopped working. The doctor said i cannot feed my baby the milk but to dump it.it's in her record that i breastfeed. Hee

I feel relieved. Hadnt i decided earlier i would have problem introducing formula to him. Alhamdulillah. Indeed what ever it is, this thing was written by the Almighty for me.

I just want to be healthy again so that Minmin can enjoy having a mom who is healthy physically and mentally. It sucks to be sick when you have to take care of a baby and the husband is thousands miles  away and there's no Doraemon pintu suka hati.

I just want to be me, again.

End of the journey

Hello!

I've thought longggg befor9e i want to post about this and finally made my decision to share it. Before that, to all obssessed breastmilk moms, please steer away from this page before you give yourself and bad day.

I have finally decided to stop my exclusive pumping journey. I was in doubt for a few weeks now but last night after a discussion with my husband (he did not tell me what to do) i have decided to end this love-hate relationship with my pumps. I want me all for myself. I want to drink coffee everyday. I want to eat anything that crosses my mind. I want to be me again.

Unlike breastfeeding mom, ep mom like me has no emotional attachment to the process. My struggle for a year is solely to give the best for my baby and i think i am done with this. For almost a year I struggled emotionally as an ep mom. I couldnt recall any other happy moments for all these time except my milk has done good for Muhaimin. I convinced myself that I love the journey but the truth it i dont like it. But i survived! I survived and Minmin got what he deserves.hehehhe

The decision to stop has not come easy to me. I've started to give Minmin formula since Ramdhan as the production dropped pretty bad. But I only gave him at night. Then after raya, came August which was the most strressful moment for this year. I was under stress at work, tired and emotionally not stable for some reasons. So i had to continue with FM again for night feeding only.

Until last week.

I was driving to school early in the morning. I was tired and extremely sleepy and was fighting to keep my eyes open. 30mins into the journey, i think i accidentally blacked out because when i came to my senses, i was driving 70km/h and the car in front of me was about 2meters away and was stopping at a traffic light. In shock, spontaneously i steered to the left lane and i was lucky there was no car coming that way and kept driving,panting and sweating.

Minmin could have lost his mom that morning.

In school, i was thinking the whole day. I am tired with school work and the pumping was taking a toll of me. I decided to stop. Minmin now needs me more than the milk. And that was not the first time i fell asleep but it was the worst one. I have to do something.

I still pumped 3-4 times a day since but my production was very low. So I had to feed him FM during the day too. Suprisingly, i feel okay. I didnt feel stress for giving him 'the poison' like some moms would say.

So here I am. Feeling contented and happy. I am still sleepy everyday but i dont have to wake up at midnight to pump and i can enjoy a cup of coffee before I drive to school. For 2 days now, i was sober while driving to and fro school. Hehehehe

I am proud of myself to be able to survive for a year as a pumper. My initial target was until confinement, then to 6 months and now a year. I have never thought i could go this far but i did it! I did it! I did it.

In this one year i bought 5 different breastpumps. One was broken, 1 sold to SIL, 1 manual bpump, one to be used at home and the other one at work.hahah funny that I spent so much on these gadgets.hihihi

I'm laughing now. And smiling. I feel free.

Dont worry. Minmin is super healthy. He is now almost 10kg.

I hope for my next baby, i will succeed to direct feed her and do not have to go through this journey again.

Of Second Baby

Muhaimin is 7 months old now.

Already birds asking when he can get a younger sibling.

I usually laughed the comments off.

But some just super annoying.

I hate when they use reason like 

"beranak je banyak banyak senang semua besar sekali"

eh ko ingat aku ni kilang ke ape?

Minmin InsyaAllah is not going to be the only child.

But to talk about the second this is not the time yet.

I have reason(S) - capital S intended- for this but I owe none explanation to anyone.

This post is just to get rid of this annoying feeling I've had the whole day.haha

4 months pregnant in Seoul.I miss the moment of having a human being in my belly hehe

Testing

Old phone died today.it had been sick for over a year and today i decided to kill it
Thank you phone for being a loyal buddy to me for 3 1/2 years. Your service is no longer needed but highly appreciated!

3rd year of my professional life

16th January seems like a familiar date. Couldnt tell what till a friend posted a status on the facebook.

It marked the 3rd year of my professional life as an educator. Hehe

Time flies.

To compare me today to me 3 years ago, definitely different.

3 years ago, I was afraid to scold any student, I was scared they would hate me. Today, I couldnt care less. Because in the past years, I learnt that students dont really appreciate you no matter how nice you are.hahaha maybe because I'm teaching in all boys school so a bit different la. Girls naturally are more appreciative compared to boys. 

I get along well with colleagues. My colleagues is the main reason why I'm willing to travel 56km every day. Willing to get stuck at 17 traffic lights from my house to school. Willing to leave at 6am where others were still in bed.hehe All schools are generally the same, the students, the workload, the stress.But my colleagues make it manageable. But of course not everything is pretty about the school, still can handle.hehe

I plan to stay a few more years before looking for a school nearer to my house.Lemme grow professionally there as the school has so many opportunities for the students and teachers to grow. I'm so grateful.

My professional photo in the school magazine for 2013.bahahaha so kembang.hahaha

Here to many more great years!

Exhausted

It's the forth day of the week.And I dont feel like going to work at all.

I WANT TO SLEEP.

AAAAAAAAAA

My body is still adjusting to the working mommy + EP mom routine which resulted in a very exhausted mommy.

I dont know where should I start to explain my routine.haha because it's endless.lemme try la okeh.

4.30am: wake up, pump, getting ready to school, feed min if he's awake.

6.10am: drive to school.

6.55am- 2.40pm: Be in school.if there's meeting, extra co-cu than time should be longer.

2.50pm-3.45pm: driving home, pump in the car.

3.45pm:arrive home, Min is usually awake, I think he can sense me.hahah and he wants me right away.No rest.

3.45pm-7pm: play, feed,bath and get Min to sleep.

7pm-730pm: Probably still trying to put Min to bed.

7.30pm: Bath, pray, eat.

8pm: Pump sesh + lesson plan on the laptop

9-10pm: getting stuffs ready for tomorrow: Min's clothes, bottle, my school stuffs, iron baju

10pm: sleep

11pm: Usually Min wakes up to feed.

11.15pm: Another pumping sesh

12am: Sleep 

2pm:If Min is still sleeping, another pumping sesh. Then feed Min.

2.45pm: Sleep

4.30: The cycle repeats

This is basically just a guideline. It totally depends on how Min wants it to be.hahahhaha

I need a longer sleep time. I know but I have no choice since I have to express milk for Min especially at night. My pumping sesh has gone down from 8 times per day to around 5-6 times only.aaaaa and Min's appetite is getting bigger.hoho I'm sleepy and tired. I dozed off several times unintentionally while driving to and fro school especially at the traffic lights. 

Oh, did I mention that Min isnt well? He's not been sleeping well for almost a week now due to cough and flu. Brought him to see a doctor already. Just a normal cough and flu for baby. 

 

Sick but still happy and active.

aaaaa I vant to write more but it's 5.15am already.need to get ready to schoollllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Back to work

Yeay, finally I'm back at work after almost 5months.tee hee hee. No kidding, I'm actually super excited to kick ass back in school.haha The only drawback is to leave Min every morning. I guess Mommy's guilt will never go away, right?

Anyhoo, it's fun to be around colleague and students. After not seeing me for quite a period, I received mix reactions from them. Of course the most common one is I look slim now. ehem!hahaha But some reactions were a bit too much, not in a negative way just they were shock to see me in my current state. Korek2 rupanya according to them I expanded well when I was pregnant.

Told them it's normal la to expand but because of my small built, I looked super heyugge when I was still baking a baby. So I dug out old pictures of me. Lucky that I kept my growing belly photos till I popped. hehe

Kid you not even I frowned and thought 'Did I really expand that big? How's that even possible?"

During 38th ++ week

*JAW DROPS*

Seriously????? Aku sendiri takut tengok @.@

Me not-s0- now. When I was around 55kg. Now I'm 49. ehem.hahahaha

phewwww~~

For my next pregnancy, I vow to eat well. No more binge eating.hahaha coz I think I'm lucky to bounce back to near normal shape effortlessly. Might not be so lucky next time.

Random Thoughts at 3am

Currently doing my mommy duty now - pumping...haha. I'm so sleepy so to avoid any spill due to sleepy head, let's blog. Ahhh just a random thing I have in mind at this hour

1. So many hijab styles nowadays. Good thing though I have never had any nafsu to try the new styles. and hubby loves to see me in Bawal. There's this situation with my bro.We were watching TV when this ads about over-the-top hijab brand appeared. Suddenly he told me 'jangan pakai tudung macam tu.bertingkat2 kaler2 macam badut dah'. hahaha Gituuula hidup surrounded with all boys.No offense ok. 
2. Not sure why but I just bought a manual breastpump. Unimom Mezzo. Will do a review about it once I've used it ok. Bought from PumpOntheGo for RM79 ONLY!
3. My phone's condition is getting critical. Have been postponing to get a new one because budget is tight now. I dont think it can wait. Which phone should I buy?? Hmmm I'm not a gadget freak. I'll be happy as long as the camera is good, can surf the internet, call (no need video call oso can), msg you know the basic apps.hehe
4. Looking around, god this house is so messy.I need extra time in a day to be able to do everything. But I think with extra time I would choose to sleep.hahaah
5. I need my own house. The stuffs are mountaining till my room becomes so suffocating. Aslam you better keep your promise!
6. My heart cringes everytime I see couples together. Be it on Facebook or in reality. When can I have that? =(

Now that's just sad. Should stop now. Bye!

Get my old belly back

I guess like most mommies out there, after being bloated close to a year, we all want our old body back. I said most, not all.hee

I VANT MINE DISH YINSTEN!

Ok if you cant read that it says 'I want mine this instance!'

43 days after delivery, the only part of my body that has totally returned to its normal size are my feet.hahaha I'm shrinking definitely but still not looking like old me. Ceh bajet body hot sangat before pregnant *roll eyes*. I've read many successful stories of mommies who busted their assess to get the pre-pregnancy bodies back. However, a few mommies just need to sit around buffing their nails and voila! Me? I'm in the former group. But hasnt started busting my ass yet. Just doing it mentally.haha

This is me, taken in October. To be fair for the comparison, this is the only photo that was taken close to the month I got knocked up, December.hahaha Dont be fooled, I sucked my tummy here.hahaha I was 45-46kg at that time.

 Me at 9 month. Gained 22kg T____T

Now my post partum weight is currently 54kg and the number doesnt seem to go away since it's been static for 3 weeks already.I guess this is the stubborn fat that will need force to leave me.

Me at after 30 days after delivery. My face can tell the whole story.No need whole body photo *grumpy*

Why is it important for me to return to old size?

Firstly, because I feel heavy. Getting up after sitting on the floor is a work for me. and while I need to carry Muhaimin most of the time, adding my on weight, it's not stable. Then, I feel tired most of the time. and I move around in slow pace. As a mom, I need to move faster coz I have so many things to do in a day. and lastly, to boost my self-esteem. I dont feel like myself. As much as I want to go out and enjoy the world, I dont feel confident to reveal (gittewwww ayat!) myself to the world just yet. Totally get Kim K now.hehe

Since I had a C-Sec, heavy workout is definitely a no-no. Plus I'm still experiencing pain once in a while so dowanna risk myself just to look good. I've been googling and I think the first step is to strengthen my abdomen. I have diastasis recti which is common especially after having a C-Sec. Basically it causes separation of abdominal muscles. Simpler words, my 6 packs wont be in straight line. Bajet ada 6 packs. mueheheh and this is one of the reason why I have a pooch now. No guys, it isnt cute.

Anyhoo, the step to tackle this is pretty simple. I can do it anytime, anywhere.

Taken from here, these are pretty simple to do. So far, I've been doing only no 1.

Ok I've never had a flat tummy even before I was pregnant. But adding the pooch now, I cant wear most, yes MOST of my old clothes. *cries*

So my aim la at least if I cant have 6 packs, I'd be happy with my old slightly bulging tummy.hahahaha
 

Panda

The other day, B and I got 2hours away to buy things for mommy. We left Muhaimin with my mom. It felt soooo good to be away for a while but in the second hour we were already worried about the baby and rushed home =__=. Anyhoo, we spent the 2 hours buying stuffs and had impromptu meals to celebrate our 9th anniversary.

Usual us, the so called special dining had no proper picture. Why are we soooo lazy to take photo? =__=. B took 3 pictures using his phone and I only took 1. Anyhoo, they are not worth sharing.

But, this one I wanna show la. Coz something catched me eyes. Ready?

Will never eat Secret Recipe spaghetti meatballs, ever again!

oh ok, back to this 'interesting' thing i wanna share.

 i have eyebags. heyugge ones.hahaha

ok bai!

Beta Thalassaemia Trait

Yesterday, the nurse from Klinik Desa in my village called and told me she had set up an appointment with a doctor at a gov clinic in Masjid Tanah. At this stage of waiting game, I was super lazy to go but still, I went coz B was around.hehe

Good thing I went coz finally my blood test result was ready.

I did one blood test in March and now in August I finally got to see it. Lama giler!

The result confirmed that I have Beta Thalassaemia Trait. What's that?

A lil summary:

• Beta thalassemia affects the hemoglobin in the red blood cells.
• All red blood cells contain hemoglobin, which carries oxygen from the lungs to all parts of the body. People with beta thalassemia do not make enough hemoglobin.
• People with beta thalassemia trait have both normal hemoglobin A and the abnormal beta thalassemia (β) hemoglobin in their red blood cells.
• Beta thalassemia is common in people of African, Mediterranean, Asian and Middle Eastern descent.

People with beta thalassemia trait do not have Beta Thalassemia disease or sickle cell disease. They cannot develop these diseases later in life. They can pass beta thalassemia trait to their children.

Well, that kinda explain my forever low HB reading. haha I was not surprised to know the result though because my cousin had a son with thalassaemia major. It runs in our blood. It's just that the result was kinda late after I consumed too many things that even to think about them make me nauseous =__='

Buttttt! Because of that the doc has ordered B to do some blood test today to make sure he's not a carrier like me.hahaha I hope he's not coz if he is.....our babies...you know....

It's true what people said. You get to know yourself better when you are pregnant.haha

Ramadhan

Alhamdulillah, we meet again Ramadhan this year. I'm excited yet nervous at the same time. I hope and pray I can fast this year at this stage. Be strong baby. But if you really cannot tahan, hit me ok so Mommy can go eat. If you can, we'll do this together so mommy dont have to ganti =)

Selamat Beribadah semua =)

The Bad Weather

I've been ranting about weather lately, on Twitter lah. It's very uncomfortable and it makes me agitated. The API at home isnt so bad but at the city center, which my school is located is getting worst. And lately my nose has started to bleed. It's normal for pregnant lady but it didnt happen before this. The hot and dry weather could be the culprit.huhuh

Anyhoo, I wore a mask most of the time in school even in the staff room because you could see and smell the smoke even inside! That's bad okay. I dont wanna google the effect on the baby just hopefully he's strong inside. One good thing thou that my baby always cover his face with the hands. Kinda protecting oso la right?hahaha

A cliched photo.haha in the staff room.

Today I woke up from my afternoon nap and saw roti jala picture on Facebook. Gosh...the urge to have it is.........so I made for myself. That's a miracle coz you see, my pregnancy hormones have washed away my mood to cook. It's almost impossible to see me cooking but this afternoon was an exception. Even Mom kinda raised her eyebrows.hahaha

 

 

And funny thing about hormones too. I spent 30 minutes standing, aching both legs and tail bone to prepare this. But I only ate 3 pieces only and instantly the appetite died. Just like that. =_____= So Mom had to finish it. 

Haishhh i oso dont understand my hormones la. Who does?hahahah

Happy Birthday Me =)

Kinda late for a birthday post but this year's was too sweet to let it be passed.

I turn 26 on 4th June this year. A quarter of a century is gone. Alhamdulillah for all the blessing You have bestowed upon me. All the people, the experience, the ups and downs have shaped me into what I am today. But just like a dough, the future might shape me into someone else.hehe cherish every moment.

Just like last year, this year birthday was celebrated in Sarawak. Last year was no celebration because we were tired of the wedding reception.hehehe This year, I had my bestfriends and family celebrating with me. Mak Buyong is touched =')

2nd June 2013 - early birthday suprise 

 

They waited for B and I to arrive till the 'happy birthday' burned a lil bt. Cake sedap from Ieer, Sally, Masty, Abg Macho Redzuan and Fatin. 

Sorry sekda amik gambar kitakorg ariya...huhu

Thank you thank you thank you. You all made me feel like I was 16 again, still in our hostel room, all giddy and excited. 

The next day, B and I drove back to B's hometown, Sibu. We arrived in Sibu around 4pm. Rested for a while before headed to B's auntie's house for which I thought for family makan-makan.

Little did I know my husband, who's the worst secret keeper when it comes to suprise had gathered his family to throw a suprise birthday dinner for me. and not a slightest clue was dropped as I had no idea at all...huuuuu It was so sweet of you B =)

Celebrated birthday with lil cousin, Azam =)

The aunties made me wear this Iban traditional piece =__='

Not used to be a center of attention, I sweated like hell. Malu tapii mahu giiiiiteeewwwwwwwww

Food picture should always be the largest. ahah the spread of food. We had KFC, Sate, tomyam, kijang and specially requested by B for me, Mi goreng and nasi goreng Normah =))) I'm a big fan of B's auntie's mi and nasi goreng.heheh

I flew back to Melaka on the 5th of June. I arrived home around 11pm and found a small secret recipe box in the fridge. A slice of blueberry cheesecake from le sister, Iffa. No picture though coz I gobbled all in minutes.hahahaha

Received many birthday wishes through Facebook, Whatsapp and SMS made my days. I even received one birthday wish through SMS from my student name Dorothy who I cannot remember who is she at all until now (my bad). But she remembered me and even my birthday. *nangis lok*

No words of thank you could put how I feel inside. I feel loved, appreciated and grateful by all the kindness I received from the people around me.

Thank you, kamsahamnida, arigato, syukran, terima kasih.

I am one lucky person.

At Home

Hola peeps! Touched down at LCCT at 930 pm last night. I have so many things to story, to share, to ngerepak but we'll do one at a time yes?

Enjoy the last bit of holidays.

I need to sleep. Toodles!

Life Long Learning

One of the things that made me grateful is to study in Batu Lintang Teacher Trainee College. Why? Because the classmates and the lecturers there made me realise how important life long learning is. Initially, I have never thought of studying further than degree. I want to study at least till second degree.

A few of my classmates have hopped into Master degree recently. Jealous? God knows how I feel inside. It has been a dream to study again. And it used to be my goal before settling down, gettin' married and have babies. But life dont always go according to your plan right? =)

If I have the extra moolah, I would definitely go to further my study. But (ok I use too many but(s) hehe) life commitments sometimes put a pause on this journey. I am married, a long distance marriage that costs a lot and a baby is popping out in a few months. My priority changes accordingly. Sometimes I did ponder and had many 'what ifs' in my head. But I'm happy and wont trade that happiness for anything.

InsyaAllah, I want to be a student again for all the right reason. Not because I want to escape being a teacher, not because I hate the boys in school, not because I'm tired of the education system.hehe Because right now if people ask me why i wanna read books again are because of those.hahaha it's normal la right. To run away from the situation you dont like.heheh

To all my classmates who are on the bandwagon, good luck. Study hard. It will be fun burning the midnight oil doing assignments and studying at the last minute just like during our younger days.heheh I will burn the oil too, changing diapers and feeding baby.hehe

P/S Nurul, time and rezqi will arrive one day. At the moment, you have bigger commitments, bigger 'amanah' to carry. =)

Thank You

As usual, withdrawal moment when B left me to go back to Bintulu.

Since this morning, I have heartburn, indigestion and bloatedness. None of these I had when B was around. When B called just now I told him bout my condition. He told me when he was around for few days, he was actually waiting for all the symptoms to emerge but they didnt. The worst I had were headache and backache.hehe

So I started to think whether these symptoms are psychological.hehe

That could be true also. Coz when people learnt that I dont have morning sickness they said I was strong. My O&G from Putra also said the same thing. If the mom is strong, InsyaAllah everything wont be as bad as the tales. Psychology huh?

 

Taken last week when I almost passed out while walking. Low HB has started to show it's effect right now .hehe

To B, thank you for showering me with all the attention.

Thanks for waking up at night when I groaned for back pain.

Thanks for massaging my back tho you were scared you might disturb the vein.

Thanks for rubbing my belly when I had cramps.

Thanks for still holding my hands in public tho I now walked like a penguin.

Thanks for finding all the food that the baby wanted to have.

Thanks for telling me how beautiful I am despite my distorted tudung.

Thanks for being my husband =)

*away to go nangis kejap*