i've got huge eyebags Y__Y

On Thursday, i helped the Pengakap team to set up their camp on the school field. this camping was organized in line with the school 50 years celebration.honestly, i have zero knowledge bout camping. never join any.haha the students asked so many questions like:

"Cikgu, kayu ni nak buat simpulan manok ke kayu balak?"
"Err..simpulan..eh..awak buat simpulan kayu rambutan pun saya tak kisah janji kukuh"..haha lame nye aku..and oso malu dengan kejahilan sendiri..


eh eh..lari dari tajuk..so that night all the not married teachers have to sleep at the school.my eyes started getting so itchy around the eyes area.we slept in the counselling room till morning. i got up at 5.30 and Ikha said: Eh Nurul bengkak gila mata kau! so..i got swollen eyes again like before. but this time not exactly like the one i got from pain killer pills. bengkak sikit je.

so yesterday i went to Jasin District Hospital for check up.The Dr couldnt find the answer as my urine test was okay.so he gave me a one day MC.hehe seronot seronot because i dont have to go to school on Saturday and stand under the hot blazing sun.miahaha but i missed the camwhoring fun with all the other girls..haish..

This was taken about 2 years ago...due to the allegic to the pain killer pills.

this was taken last night.the swollen has subsided a bit but can see the red stretch at the corner of both sides.and they're damn itchy! ignore the humongous red bump on the my nose!

my eyes are similar to this panda from far..Y___Y the biggest eyebags one could imagine...

ok that's all. tomorrow's a school holiday.cuti peristiwa..my housemates and i are going to conquer malacca.my eyes should be okay by tomorrow ! cant wait =))

screaming teachers demotivate students!

Life's pretty relax lately due to exam week. Nothing much to do. And less shouting in the class. I've heard some teachers in this school have this 'aura' that when they enter the classroom, the noises went dead. How did they do that?and these teachers are very nice one. not strict at all. They are the Superwomen teachers.hee *all are female*

My relationship with the students are getting better.Especially Form 4 students. I am glad. Now, whenever i enter the class, they will automatically sit down. and ready to hear stories or to learn. since this is exam week, they will just gather around the table and ask about life. apparently, they do think about their future. choices they have to grow up. Although they are in the last class, they are much better than the students from other form 4 classes. damn nice!

the other day, they told me that they want to learn. only that some teachers have this expectations that they are 'wild' and 'stupid'. So sad. if you dont teach them, of course la they all jadi stupid. moron betul cikgu-cikgu macam ni.They said some teachers will spend most of the time screaming at them, accusing them that they refused to listen anymore. Dont these teachers learn psychology? these kids were screamed at home. they dont need extra at school. haish..kesian..

the only problem i have with these kids are their proficiency level in English. They are terribly bad. i conducted my lesson in bilingual because they cannot understand at all.i mark their exam paper. and they couldnt understand  the questions so they copied all the notes i gave them.haish..boleh pulak copy2 time exam..haha

i am planning to do my best.at least i have 3 weeks left after holidays to really drill them. they need help. not screaming and negative perceptions from the 'educators'.

The late post for teacher's day! =)

Picchas from teacher's day!

Early morning..perarakan hari guru =)

Before the games~

 

During the assembly..sebok camwhoring pastu gelak2 tengok 

persembahan 'bertenaga' dari students.

Happy coz we still got pressies..hehe

Cekodok in my mouth! 

 

camwhoring with the help from the students.

sob sob..terharu dapat hadiah dari Form 1 students..

..............

Basically, that's all. sorry for the late piccies.too busy with other stuffs..hee

i fell in love with them first before the school =)

Last Sunday, we the practical teachers and one cikgu ganti (haha) went for a trip to Muar. To Kak Sha's house hunting for Masak Asam Pedas. We cramped into Inzah's MYVI and off we went. we used the long road i.e. masuk tangkak. now i know how Tangkak looks like.hee..went through many small incidents but we arrived safely.

At Kak Sha's house, we were served with plenty of food. Kak Sha's mom cooked Ayam Masak Asam Peday which was finger lickin' good. i never ate ayam masak asam pedas so a bit sakai. memang sedap!!

after lunch, we rested for a while before heading to Muar town. Nothing intriguing except Tanjong. it is a Muara Sungai.we lepaked there for almost two hours with camwhoring activity went on.haha...enjoy the piccies! =)

cramped in the car!

in Kak Sha's house

at Tanjong

sengal!

actually there are a lot more piccies tapi muka semua tak senonoh..hahaha so enjoy je la pe yg ada..

next trip : Waterfall!! yiihaa

these are the people who brigthen up my day at my worst emotional breakdown.hehee

but so far, i am getting the hang of the students. know a lil bit how to control and tackle them. hopefully no more drama after this. InsyaAllah~~

i

Happy Teacher's Day Nurul!!

Life aint easy. But if you do good, some how when Karma works, you'll be getting what you deserve. cewah..gitu kan pembukaan cerita.hehe I wanna story mory about my school teacher's day celebration.

Early in the morning, we gathered at the assembly point for morning assembly la. after too much bla blas, it's time for us the practical teachers to perform. Since the short time given, we decided to perform a poem recital, written by one of us, Arif.
but the performance was spoilt by the bad PA system. the song stopped playing in the middle of the recital. i myself forgot some lines so i just made up. i dont think anyone notice pon..haha the reviews from other teachers were ok. they said we could do much better. ya lor..so short the time you guys gave. initially,we planned to perform a dance by Wonder Girls tu. but since there were an ustaz and an ustazah in the group, we cancelled though they didnt mind.haha sempoi btol ustat2 nih..

then after that, it was time for physical stuffs. Zulaikha and i decided to go for aerobic instead of playing Bola Jaring. so we swayed, shook and danced the routine. of course poco-poco was the main theme.i sweated like a pig.miaaha...then we headed to the field to join the rest of the practicum teachers for sukaneka. it was hell of a fun.though we were separated,i joined a group with teachers i never speak to, turned out they were ok! like 2 thumbs up ok. sporting. the events: cari gula dalam tepung. i had my contact lenses on my pupils, so during the find-the-sweet-in-the-flour event, my eyes got really red.yelah..tepung masuk mata.campur berair lagi..nang jadi cekodok dalam mata aku.haha

it was fun. surprisingly, i got many presents.not that many la.but i got two pressies from 1A students. i tot they hate me oredy after last week incident. terharu beb.then another 2 from Kelab Pengawas and Kelab Library.so overall 4 pressies la..

the teacher who always find fault with the practical teachers didnt get any except the present that he was supposed to pay for it. itula..busuk hati dengan orang lagi.not good tau. he also teaches 1A class but he didnt get any from them. My housemate, Kak Sha got so many presents from the students. One of the class that she teaches threw a surprise party for her.cikgu kelas diorang pun tak tau.see..the power of practical teachers?hah

i dont mean to brag. just the teacher who's allergic to us should stop and think.what have we done wrong yang kau benci gila babi sampai nak gosip satu sekolah?setakat kitorang bayar seorang rm5? the so 'expensive' gifts that the teachers pay to get were pathetic. a pencil case? dude, are you kidding me?seriously? i tot u are gonna buy emas ke emas putih ke for the teachers. such a joke.

k dah dah kutuk dia..kesian..

I wanna wish all teachers happy teachers' day. be proud of your profession because we are the chosen ones to help our nation. giler berkobar ayat..hehehe saje je..i am starting to love this job despite the challenges!

p/s pics will be uploaded soon! =)

piece of me

i am at home. Quite Sunday morning with the Nanny's laugh flaring from the television.what a perfect day. but in 2 hours i am heading back to Jasin. My housemates are planning to go to Muar, to Kak Sha's house. oo..cant wait.

i havent told about my housemates. There are 5 of us. All practical teachers in the same school. Kak Sha and Kak Mazni are from UPSI.Their torture period in the school will end at the end of this month. so lucky. we still have 6 more weeks to go.

though we have just met, we clicked instantly.really. i am so grateful to have them. they are one of the reasons that keeps me going alive in Jasin.we shared the same problems, food, stress. oh i just love them.

i am exhausted. it's been 2 weeks and my body has started to react. fatigue and stress add up with hot weather, not good! i am tired most of the time. not because of physical reason, but by thinking too much. my mind could not stop thinking about lesson plan. how to tackle the students. how to create activities that suit every students. it's exhausting.

the students are extremely lazy. though i've spoon fed most of the time (for form 4 la)...still malas nauzubillah. salin nota je pon. sometimes just fill in the blanks. nak angkat pen pun Ya Allah..took me almost half of  the period. haish..sabar sabar..these students have no motivation. they've been told over the years that they are stupid, a burden and have no future. memang rot in hell la teachers who said that.if you are miserable with your life, why would you kill the young ones dreams?

benci cikgu macam nih.

malu~

I entered Form 1 class today. It was a 2 period class. I was teaching imagery found in ‘Mr Nobody’ poem. For the 3rd development, I asked them to draw a ‘Wanted’ poster for Mr. Nobody on mahjong paper. The class was so noisy.  I tried to control. I shouted several times to control the situation. However, 5 minutes before the class end, I lost it.
I asked 2 representatives from each group to present their poster in front of the classroom. I didn’t know why but they were damn noisy. Really2 noisy that I lost my patient. This time I screamed! So loud even I couldn’t believe myself I could ‘throw’ that kind of voice. The class went silent. I threw a pemadam white board on the floor. Lucky I didn’t throw it to the kids. I packed my stuffs. And wished them ‘Good Luck for your exam’ and walked out.
I could hear the students were calling me. I kept on walking. I was not angry. But I gave up. I felt bad bout myself. Because I failed to control them. I kept walking so fast till 3 female students could catch me.
‘Cikgu marah ke?”
‘Tak..saya tak marah tapi menyampah!”
‘Cikgu, minta maaf cikgu. Kitorang memang macam ni”
‘Saya tau..and cikgu still trying to know each of you..i have 2 options: a nice teacher or a strict teacher. Saya taknak jadi strict because nanti korang semua tak enjoy belajar’
‘Cikgu, jangan marah-marah cikgu..cepat tua nanti’
‘Memang saya dah tua pun…hari –hari balik rumah check dalam cermin, ada je garis2 halus tumbuh kat mata ni..hehe’
‘Cikgu jangan marah eh’
‘Takla..saya biasa jer’

Later during recess, another 3 students came to apologize. I did not know what to say coz the truth is I am not mad. I am disappointed with myself that I had to sulk and left the class. That’s soooooooooooooo not cool!!
Just now, when I was teaching Form 4 class, another 4 students – the head of noise department in 1A class came to say sorry. Haish..dah jadi isu pulak,,
I shouldn’t leave the class. Now the permanent teachers knew about the story. Malu weh..but the problem is, I did not go and tell anyone. The students themselves went and told their teachers. Apsal la korang gtau..malu tau tak…
Tomorrow is Friday. Yeah!! But on Saturday ada gotong royong and LDP…T____T

it's getting better

Today was much better..so far..i entered 4G class just now. we were just discussing about qwertyuiop - the short story. the problem with this class is their proficiency level in English is very low. Some of them couldnt even read in BM what more English. i explained bout the short stories like story-telling session and they seemed interested because they made less noise la..hehehe

Honestly, for the past few days i was really not in spirit. i felt lazy to enter the classroom. i feel each day more and more students hate me although i didnt scold them. i just tegur soh senyap je..i think i was being too sensitive la..yesterday i entered Form 1 class. i totally ignored the students unless when they were making too much noise. Overall, i just did some discussion and let them do what ever they want. aku memang menyampah gile ngan budak-budak sampai malas nak tengok muka..i was really down and felt demotivated to do anything.

BUt this morning, i woke up early (well i wake up at 5.30 every morning ..hehe). i prayed really hard like i never prayed before. i love teaching. i love the adrenaline rush. i love when students can answer my questions after i taught certain topic.i just need motivation. and guidance. So just now, for the 1st time after so many classses, i enjoyed standing in front of the classroom. the students started listening to my orders.i was glad. and now i literally wanna jump like crazy aand shout.hee

but i still have Form 1 class to enter this afternoon. Just hope everything will be okay. *pray hard*

oh i am really bored in the staff room +))

there are many types of teachers

been in this school for 7 days, i have met many types of teachers. The negative one, the pessimist, the happy-go-lucky, the quite, the friendly, the strict. oh many many of them.

However, i couldnt tahan with this one type: allergic to practical teachers.

yes, we all realise that we are the novice, temporary, prone-to-mistakes and also the moneyless groups of teachers. But we are willing to learn, full of spirit and never stingy.

You do not have to tell the whole school that we the practical teachers only gave you rm5 for teacher's day. C'mon la..by right we dont have to pay to buy our own gifts. it's deeply pathetic when teachers have to 'donate' some money to school in order to buy grand presents for teachers. Pathetic tau tak!

During the meeting, some teachers said that we dont have to pay any since we are not working yet. but with your big mouth you want us to give 'sumbangan ikhlas' meaning any amount that we are willing to pay. But when you only get RM40 from 8 of us, you carry your big mouth around the school parading our doings. What the hell? kalau nak duit banyak, cakap la depan2. bangang!

the saddest part is the ambition of the school to have a grand celebration when the truth is the school dont have money. Sanggup minta sumbangan murid2 untuk hari guru. ish ish..kesian betul.

If we dont have that much money, celebrate averagely sudah. Makan-makan. if you think that the gifts is deathly necessary, just buy the cheap one. who cares right? ape korang beli keta vios sorang satu ke untuk cikgu2? pathetic gile..

but, what ever you say, we are still the unwanted group. although we give free services to the school, using our own money for teaching aids which i never see any permanent teachers carry to teach, nodding our heads like burung belatuk to all orders, we'll still be here no matter how much you abhor us.

thank you.

p/s guru yang dimaksudkan diatas ialah seorang wanita terperangkap dalam badan lelaki. Sekian makseh!

blog dah gila

testing testing

Happy Mother's Day - an incident to ponder

*this is a sticky post...scroll down for new post updates

i blogwalked just now. stopped at Ladynoe's blog. she always fascinates on how she sees the world. and this post literally make my eyes swelled with tears.

On May 12 2008, a bad earthquake hit Wenchuan China. This is a story of the greatest love in the world.

mom's love indeed the greatest of all. Happy mother's day to all moms in the world.

Every mom deserves it. Oh i Love u mak!

p/s malu nak wish mak sendiri..T____T

is teaching really for me?

Currently being at own home in Lendu, i try to put away the thought that i have to return to hell tomorrow. haish~

it's been a week since i reported myself as a practicum teacher in the 6th corot school in Malacca. honestly, i had a hard time last week. And my motivation level was DOWN to zero because of form 1 students.really really down and demotivated. rasa nak nangis tak yah cakap la. but i didnt cry. RASA je..hehee

i got form 1 and form 4 classes to be taught.i have entered both classes and frankly speaking, i love the form 4 students more. although they were all boys, maximumly naughty, i prefer to enter their class. i abhor entering the form 1 class after sort of being bullied..sort of okay..they bullied me psychologically. i shouted most of the time and one time i scolded one girl so bad that currently she hates the guts out of me. haish~

for a week experience, i knew i have langgar many teacher ethical codes. i shouldnt say certain words. shouldnt refer to them as monkeys. i REGRETTED. but what to do, you can reverse a sampan but not your words. now i have to think of a way to tackle form 1 back.

oh i am still learning and searching the best way to teach. to tackle studetns. to control the classroom. but, we are lucky because out of 8 weeks of practicum, i;ll be teaching for 4 weeks and a half due to exam week.hahahahahahaha *evil laugh*

ooh i love form 4 students.they are evil, rude, and harsh in speaking. but somehow that's how malaccans roll~ they call me many names: cikgu kecik, cik ain, teacher, cikgu, puan, madam. they refuse to call me nurul. saje nak buat aku menyampah..lantak kau la..i have troubles to teach this class as their English proficiency is badly low. i used a primary 3 grammar level oso they cannot do.but it's not their fault. English is not their 2nd language but more to foreign language kot.

there's one student mocking me saying that i am too short to hit them. wah kemain ko usik aku kecik..so i climbed onto a chair and i was way taller than them. agik asa..but they just laughed. haish..macam-macam..

that's all from now. actually there are a lot more. tapi sape peduli aku ramble sorang2 kan?

dowan go back to jasin

ohh...why am i feeling like this? will go back to Jasin after Asar which i abhor so much. hey..gimme some times ok. yeah truth is i hate that school. but i know towards the end i will love it that will make it so hard to bid farewell. i am still learning to adapt with the environment: teachers, students and the school.

one thing i am looking forward to in Jasin in my housemates. Kak Sha, Kak Mazni, Ila and Ikha. although we just met and lived together for a week, we clicked instantly.we talked our feelings, share thoughts, ideas for teaching and eat together. we teach different subjects: history, Pend. Islam and english but the approach to students are still the same.

for the weekend, i spent most of my free time sleeping. I dunno why but i felt tired and restless.the more i think about the students, especially form 1, the more i want to just close my eyes and hello lala land.haish..i know i have no motivation left.  my parents have been my biggest motivator machine. since they are teachers, they said it's normal la for new or novice teachers to be like this.once i get to know the students, i will love them. will i?erghh..

it's 4.00 pm and in half an hour, i'll be heading to Jasin. arhgggg............dowan dowan dowan

i need faith~

Alhamdulillah, i got the best and the worst class in school. I am glad. 

My school is the 6th tercorot in Malacca.

But all the teachers are very supportive. if i survive this two months, give any school in Malaysia, i will bring it on bebeh!

I hope i'll bring the best within this 2 months. i want to. and i have started to love teaching =)