Obsession

My cousin said it's normal for a new mom to be obsessed about their new baby, especially first born.

I thought I was not till I came here.

I dont like how people control my baby. What ever decision made for him, must go through me and approve by me. and my thought is final. But it didnt happen that way =__='

I dont like it even more when people said he looks more like his dad.hahaha

Ok this is serious.

I need to relax a bit. Stop being so obsess because in the end I'll be the one who's stressed.

I'm really obsess guys. I did quite a reflection to search for the root of this problem and came to only one reasonable conclusion.

Through out my pregnancy, I was mostly alone. I carried myself alone. When I craved, I went to search for it alone. When I was having pregnancy discomfort, I experienced it alone. Well most of the time. No one really took care of me except when B was around. 

I think I have been independent for almost a year so when Min's out, I REALLY HATE IT when people act like they know more than me.

He's hungry, feed more.

He's colicky.

He's sleepy,

He's afraid.

I REALLY HATE IT. NOT DISLIKE. HATE.

I took care of him during confinement mostly alone when my parents went to work. I know what my baby needs or having. I know when he's hungry. I know his cue when he's sleepy. I know his face expression when he's afraid.

I'm not saying I know everything about him. But the basic, yea try me.

So when other people decide when he needs to be fed, to sleep, to bath, irk the hell out of me.

What should I do then? =(

Mouth to chin, he definitely takes it from me.hahaha

Little Min at 2months old

A few days ago, Min hit the 2months milestone. He's definitely longer and heavier, but still no smile.

We catched him smiling few times but those were unintended. B and I had turned ourselves crazy trying to make him smile or giggle at our silly faces but failed. Why so kedekut oneeeeeee

2month jab. He didnt cry! Good boy

 

 

Gigi - short form for giraffe.His 1st sleeping buddy.

Min is now 6.3 kg. Not sure his length tho but he's longer than the rubber mat in the picture.kono boli yg bosar sikit

First time sleeping liddis. This boy kehnot sleep in any place but a quiet one. But that day history changed.hahaha

Min needs a lot of new clothes. He's either have outgrown or some are getting too fit for his body. Mommy gonna shop some, soon. or you can just flash your sweetest smile to nenek, can you min?hahaha

Hola from Bintulu

Us, on the plane to Bintulu. Our first family photo =___='

Been here a week. I'm still adjusting, still learning to love it here.

Anyhoo, able to see B everyday is my highlight. Thank you Allah for such rare opportunity.

*Finally we've subscribed to Celcom broadband package. Not happy with the speed but that's the best offer I got. Now I can blog. weeeeeeeeeeeeee*

Good Bye Melaka

*imagine us, ehem me and Muhaimin that is, waving to the crowds as if we were some royals while walking up the stairs to enter our plane*

miahahahah

Today, InsyaAllah at 4.05pm we will fly to Bintulu.

I'm dead nervous expecting what to be expected or unexpected because this is Muhaimin first real trip, travelling with plane summore. This is a baby we are talking about, which means he bosses you. Not the other way around.haha

I've travelled with plane since quite young and had had my fair share of sitting next to babies or toddlers who screamed their lungs out through out the journey and calmed down only after the planes  touched down..Now I am a parent myself, i hope things will be easy for us. The key is KEEP THE BABY HAPPY ALL THE TIME!

I've had mental rehearsal gazillion times in my head - how the flow would be, which bags (plural intended) to use, where to reheat the milk, what contingency plan to have if the boss became fussy..many things lah...

Yesterday, we had a real rehearsal, bringing Muhaimin to Senawang. It was his first trip outside the state!!! LOL Bunyi cam jaoh je pdahal..haha

Initially he was a bit cranky and we could see he was nervous.After a while, after we swaddled him, finally he fell asleep. Alhamdulillahhhhhhhh. tee hee in short, the trip was a success!

And it was my first time trying out technique with my expressed breastmilk (EBM). Since Min thinks feeding using bottle is more sophisticated (I have always suspected he wanna impress some chicks, direct feeding is uncool....haha pun intended ok.) I have to lug around cooler bag and thermal bag. And bags to keep empty and dirty bottles. aaaa and not to forget the breastpump and the accessories. Gosh, even typing this is tiring.

I find that it wasnt as hard as I thought. Since EBM can stand 4hours in room temperature (I limit it to 3hours) it's pretty easy to handle.So now I'm preparing for longer trip, which is today. We probably leave Melaka slightly before noon, drop by Senawang to fetch my parents-in-laws then off to KLIA. ETA in Bintulu would be around 6.15pm. Waiting for the luggage, pung pang pung pang might reach home around 7-8pm. perghhh...So, that's quite a challenge but hopefully everything will be alright.

I did lotsa reading about hand-carrying EBM on board, Allah is great, it is permittable for domestic flight, For international flight, only certain amount is allowed. Now let's see how the things unfold today. Allah, please ease our journey and let Muhaimin enjoys this trip.

I'm super excited and also nervous. Cant wait to arrive to the other side of the land, and start a new routine, this time with B around.hehehe

Min has started to suck on his fists so we take the mittens off. =)

p/s I might not be able to blog for a while when I'm in Bintulu coz the house has no internet connection. Kena pasang jugak tenet, bosan kot! I need to ngerepak ok~ 

Till then, adieu!

Eid Adha

 

The cousins, in the morning of Eid Adha. Yang tengah tu belum mandi.haha

Muhaimin's first raya.

Mommy pig out.

Had after-confinement syndrome.

Semua yg boleh makan semua aku makan. Hopefully Min wont affect Muhaimin in a bad way.hehehe

Parents-in-laws and B will arrive today. Am so excited!!

Little Min at 1 month

Today, Min is 52 days which means he has already achieved the 1 month milestone. heehee I want to document his progress here, just like I did when I was pregnant with him.

Exactly one month after he was born, Min was

• 5.1kg
• 57cm long
• Drinks 90ml of milk every 1.5-2hours.
• Successfully differentiate between day and night (good boy!)
• Recognises my voice (awwww......)
• His eyes can focus better now
• He hates lying down.He prefers to be in a sitting or standing position. Ni kes perasan tulang blakang and leher dah kuat.hahaha
• Enjoy bath time
• Talks more in his own language
• TV distracts him

aaaa and the usual development stuffs la.haha am lazy to write.

I think motherhood changes me, not drastically but slowly. I dunno how to explain why I have this strong feeling of love towards some one who is super smelly but comforting at the same time.hahaha

 

I'm sexy and I know it

 

 

 There's this one frame of Kaabah in our hall and he lovesssss staring at it.A mystery till today.hehe

I love you Baby Min. Though I might nag at you (foresee my future as a mom) but I do love you. Wallahi. Grow and be a good caliph ok!

Sick

If you've been following my twitter, you would know that I fell sick 2 days ago. It was food poisoning and the worst ever i experienced so far. My stomach is very sensitive to bad food (got it from Abah) so I've had my fair share of food poisoning through out my life, including during my honeymoon =___='. But usually they were mild ones, either i vomit or had diarrhoea. Never both.

2 days ago, it was both. I took breakfast at 8am. 4 other family members had the same food I had but it was my rezeki to have eaten the bad one. Boo hoo...After I ate, I felt all gassy and bloated. I still did house chores and took care of Muhaimin. At 11.30am, I told B I was nauseous. and wanted to nap for a while. But, my nap was disturb by stomach cramps. At that time I already knew I had food poisoning because of the tell tale signs.

At one point, I was very dizzy and uncomfortable and nauseous so I went to the toilet and stood in front of the sink. I felt like the everything inside my belly was going to come out. I stood for a while but nothing happen. So i decided to help it by sticking my finger into my throat. Then all hell broke loose. Everything I ate for breakfast came out. I had roti jala so the sink was filled with thick yellowish liquid. ewwwwwwwww

So the story went from there. After the 2nd vomit came the diarrhoea. After a while, I vomitted water and cherry-berrying water oso. I was very weak like a lempeng. Abah already took over to take care of Muhaimin. Since  I was losing so much water from my body, I was dehydrated. I replenished by drinking more water but seconds after I gulped them down,  I vomitted. So by 3pm, Ummi decided it's time to go to the hospital. She brought me to the Emergency Room at Hospital Alor Gajah.

Cut story short, I got two bottles of drip. I was dehydrated and dizzy. The doc did blood test on me but everything seemed normal. At 5.30pm, I was allowed to go back with a handful of medicine to bring back. The drip made me slightly better but still quite dehydrated. I was thirsty all the time. Mom let me drink 100PLus (the only part I love from all this hehehehehehe). That night I slept like a log. Didnt even wake up to change Min's diaper and feed him.

This morning I was a bit weak so I slept whenever I had the chance. I didnt eat for 8 hours and with the vomittting, my belly couldnt handle normal food. So mom prepared chicken porridge for me. My appetite is slowly getting better. But when I tried eating sandwich, my stomach still cramped so I guess it's not ready. Porridge then.

One good thing came out from this is of course I lost 1.5kg.hehe Happy? a lil bit but I wish not to ever experience this again. huhu but since I lost sooo much water, my milk supply decreased tremenduosly. From 6-7 oz per pumping session, I only get 3 oz now. Stressful and make me really sad. Need to work hard to increase them again.boo hoo

I'm typing this at the wee hour in the morning while pumping. So pardon the grammar and lintang pukang-ness of this post.

Confinement and Me

We did not get along too well, that for sure.hahaha I ended my confinement 2 days ago, not with flying colours I guess. If I were to give a grade, maybe I pass with C+? HEHE

I pretty much took care of myself. My mom worked during the day. My ummi took care of my food. I did my own param, pilis, herbal bath and other traditional stuffs once or twice coz you cannot have those weird thngs on you when you are carrying and taking care of a baby all day. Plus, pilis smells like cow dunk. I'm serious!

I didnt bind my abdomen due to the surgery. But I did wear the velcro wrap for 3weeks (after 2 weeks) till it hurts my lower abdomen. In my 4th week mom told me to put on the traditional binder (bengkung). She only told me to wear never taught me how oso =__= so I didnt. As a result, I'm not as small as I wanted to be. erghh...

I think the only part that I really stuck to is my food. Ummi and Mom were deadly serious in this department. But of course I cheated once with a slice of pizza (blame my bro for buying this) even that my mom kept close eyes to make sure I didnt help myself with 2nd round.hahaha and true enough, that night both of us couldnt sleep because Min was colicky.miahaha lesson learnt! Ummi was more strict when it comes to food. She made sure I ate the right food everyday. Sometimes the food/herbs were just too weird for my tastebuds I ended up cheating. How? Shove some portions into my stockings or pockets and pretended as if I finished them. miahahaha ok shhhh! this is our secret ok =p

Out of this, I learnt one thing, for my second baby (InsyaAllah) i'm gonna fine my own confinement lady. Because I didnt really follow what I should have done, my body aches everywhere especially around my abdomen. Maybe because I carried Muhaimin too much and he is not a light one. And I hope at that time B would be around so I dont have to do everything all by mysefl =)

Boring confinement story yea? Yea confinement was a boring process to me. The only thing that kept me around the clock is Muhaimin and pumping. Before I knew, it was already the next day.hehehe

 

I bought Tanamera set. Out of 11 items, only 2 things I used till finish, herbal bath (easy to prepare) and VCO. The rest....a lil bit only. hoho membazir je...

I also took Shaklee set and it was awesome!! I was energetic (except for surgery pain) and kept me on my positive mood. I am very sure because I was out of supply for 3 days and while waiting for the new stock to arrive, I could feel the different. Very tired, easily irritated. Ni tak tipu punya ok!

Ok la.I'm typing this while pumping. I'm done now and it's time for bed. it's 3.30 am *yawn*

Center of life

When those faces appear, drop everything and attend to his needs

Even when you are halfway in the toilet making business.

I'm serious.

A life of a mom.

Get my old belly back

I guess like most mommies out there, after being bloated close to a year, we all want our old body back. I said most, not all.hee

I VANT MINE DISH YINSTEN!

Ok if you cant read that it says 'I want mine this instance!'

43 days after delivery, the only part of my body that has totally returned to its normal size are my feet.hahaha I'm shrinking definitely but still not looking like old me. Ceh bajet body hot sangat before pregnant *roll eyes*. I've read many successful stories of mommies who busted their assess to get the pre-pregnancy bodies back. However, a few mommies just need to sit around buffing their nails and voila! Me? I'm in the former group. But hasnt started busting my ass yet. Just doing it mentally.haha

This is me, taken in October. To be fair for the comparison, this is the only photo that was taken close to the month I got knocked up, December.hahaha Dont be fooled, I sucked my tummy here.hahaha I was 45-46kg at that time.

 Me at 9 month. Gained 22kg T____T

Now my post partum weight is currently 54kg and the number doesnt seem to go away since it's been static for 3 weeks already.I guess this is the stubborn fat that will need force to leave me.

Me at after 30 days after delivery. My face can tell the whole story.No need whole body photo *grumpy*

Why is it important for me to return to old size?

Firstly, because I feel heavy. Getting up after sitting on the floor is a work for me. and while I need to carry Muhaimin most of the time, adding my on weight, it's not stable. Then, I feel tired most of the time. and I move around in slow pace. As a mom, I need to move faster coz I have so many things to do in a day. and lastly, to boost my self-esteem. I dont feel like myself. As much as I want to go out and enjoy the world, I dont feel confident to reveal (gittewwww ayat!) myself to the world just yet. Totally get Kim K now.hehe

Since I had a C-Sec, heavy workout is definitely a no-no. Plus I'm still experiencing pain once in a while so dowanna risk myself just to look good. I've been googling and I think the first step is to strengthen my abdomen. I have diastasis recti which is common especially after having a C-Sec. Basically it causes separation of abdominal muscles. Simpler words, my 6 packs wont be in straight line. Bajet ada 6 packs. mueheheh and this is one of the reason why I have a pooch now. No guys, it isnt cute.

Anyhoo, the step to tackle this is pretty simple. I can do it anytime, anywhere.

Taken from here, these are pretty simple to do. So far, I've been doing only no 1.

Ok I've never had a flat tummy even before I was pregnant. But adding the pooch now, I cant wear most, yes MOST of my old clothes. *cries*

So my aim la at least if I cant have 6 packs, I'd be happy with my old slightly bulging tummy.hahahaha
 

Baby Shock

 When we talk about babies, the images appear in our heads are

how cute they smile
how cute they laugh and giggle
how cute they coo
how cute they wiggle
how cute they burp

heck even when they poop oso we think it's cute.

Therefore, like almost all normal beings, I dreamt of having my own baby since very young.Because baby screams cuteness!!!

Till I have my own baby to care for 24/7.

Yea that kind of thought just flew out of the window 2 days after I was discharged from the hospital.

It wasnt bad at all when I was at the hospital because Muhaimin was only brought to me when he's hungry or when I asked to. I did nothing except staring at him adorably.At home, for 24/7 he's with me.

At the beginning, he woke up every 2 hours to feed. He was restless because of the new surrounding outside the womb. He cried. He pooped and peed.

B and I had baby shock for the first time in our lives.Never knew taking care of a newborn is very challenging. He didnt smile, he didnt laugh, but he grunts all the time.hahahaha It's more a one-way communication. Ya la...after all the hardwork, you expect to see him smile back to you but he didnt. He's not at that  stage yet =.=

The first week I remembered B kept telling me how shock he was to the new situation. He didnt expect that he would be in that situation. B was restless because he couldnt understand the root of Muhaimin cries.haha

You see, when we play with babies that's not ours, we never saw the
'behind-the-scene' situation where they cried, they smelled, they stress (yess baby got stress oso =__='). When we talked to their parents, they seemed ok, so in love with their babies. But little did we know...haha

I think I'm ok already now. But B isnt. When he came back last week, he still looked stress though especially when Muhaimin woke up in the middle of the night. He looked lost, could be because he just got up, tired or...still in shock.miahahaha

Anyhoo, wanna share one funny story happened to B last week. It was his last day before he flew back to Bintulu. Around 6.30am, Muhaimin woke up to feed. After feeding, B was changing his diaper. He laid Muhaimin on the bed and B kneel kat tepi katil. It was usual for Muhaimin to fart a lot (gassy baby this one lol). So please imagine, B on his knee, face very near to Muhaimin's butt, Muhaimin was farting, but for the second blow, came too the poop. It exploded right in front of B slapping his face with poop and smearing his shirt. I was so sleepy but the moment the rare incident happened, I couldnt contain my laugh.hahahahah

B was super shock. His face expression was priceless. He looked like he was going to be angry but I think he controlled la. Quickly he went to the toilet so I took over. While changing him, I was giggling all the way till B came back only I stopped. miahahaha

Definitely the moment I'm going to remember. Hence this post. So Muhaimin, if you are all grown up, and able to read, read this post then go hug ayah ok.hahahahaha

Uh, I did what?? whoaaaa sorry ayah =p