Under 1 roof

in 2 and a half week, we'll be together under 1 roof for at least 2months.

InsyaAllah =)

Milk Booster Agents

Day 35 (yiihuuu) and Minmin still refuses direct feeding. I kinda accept this fate (wahh fate gitteww) at least he's still getting the milk just via bottle. As people say pumping will eventually decrease the supply (which I doubt), I've been doing research on food that could boost the production. So today, for all mommies out there, here are the food that I myself have tried and proven success to ensure supply.hehe

1. Shaklee Alfalfa
I take this 3 times  a day (two at one serving). Initially, I tried the trial package for a month. It definitely brings more milk but just adequate for a day consumption. Placed my order here in case you are interested.

2. Sawi
I hated sawi and would put it aside if they were in the meal. But for my baby, I eat sawi like a goat now. Funny coz I have started to like it. Only when it made into soup.

 I know there are many types of sawi. I'm not sure myself coz my mom and umi cooked them for me.hehe

3. Carrot
Not a fan but I eat carrot like a rabbit. Anything for my baby. Dunno what else to say bout carrot.hahaha usually Umi would serve it raw with a dash of cheese. sedap ooo makan panas2.

You all know carrot so no need picture la.haha

4. and recently, fenugreek (halba)
Those mat saleh mommies take fenugreek to boost their supply. So I googled for this and found out many mommies claimed it worked. I started taking this 2 days ago and I notice there's an increase in the supply. Usually I could get 4-5oz in 1 pumping session. Now i could get  up to 7oz. Not bad huh? You can buy ready made pills available in the market but quite pricey. I was scared it wouldnt work for me so I googled more and found this god-bless mommy who shared her tips for home made fenugreek pills. I spent RM1.70 for a pack of fenugreek bought from Tesco instead of RM60 for a bottle of pills.muehehehehe

I didnt make mine into pills coz very lazy to find the gelatin casing so I blended it and put into a tupperware. At first I mix 1 teaspoon with hot water and drank. but the taste..... so now i just shove 1tsp into my mouth and run it with water fast fast.hahaha Anyhoo, it works for me!

I never knew fenugreek exists before.haha nampak sangat tak masak =p

Anyhoo, I hope this post could help some mommies out there. This is one of the efforts to increase the supply and result may vary. =)

Tunggang langgang post aku ni. Lantakla.hehe asalkan mesej sampai

Panda

The other day, B and I got 2hours away to buy things for mommy. We left Muhaimin with my mom. It felt soooo good to be away for a while but in the second hour we were already worried about the baby and rushed home =__=. Anyhoo, we spent the 2 hours buying stuffs and had impromptu meals to celebrate our 9th anniversary.

Usual us, the so called special dining had no proper picture. Why are we soooo lazy to take photo? =__=. B took 3 pictures using his phone and I only took 1. Anyhoo, they are not worth sharing.

But, this one I wanna show la. Coz something catched me eyes. Ready?

Will never eat Secret Recipe spaghetti meatballs, ever again!

oh ok, back to this 'interesting' thing i wanna share.

 i have eyebags. heyugge ones.hahaha

ok bai!

Happy 9th Anniversary Hubby!

This year, we totally forgot about this. Too indulged having a new baby in our lives =)

You are my best friend since 9 years agoo

You are my husband since a year ago

and now we are both parents to the most wonderful baby in the world.

To many more years,, till Jannah =)

Ayah is Home

 

Baru beberapa saat ayah sampai, Muhaimin already screamed coz it's feeding time.

He knows Ayah has arrived.

Aaahhhh heaven. Mommy off duty till Wednesday =D

Where My Phone At??

Day 29.

I think for 29 days some people got so frustrated with me. hehe

Why the because?

They couldnt get me to answer their calls or messages.

I know I know...I read all the messages but sometimes I didnt have the time to reply on the spot.

Did you know, that on daily basis I dont know where my phone at?

And the fact that it has been on silent mode since I got home from the hospital made this situation worst?

There were days when I got to hold my phone at night only.or when suddenly i remembered I have a husband who might already nerve-wrecked worried he didnt hear anything from me.muehahaha

I know I know you'll got so frustrated but what can I do. Muhaimin is still at the crying stage even when he's super sleepy so my hands are full. I did read the messages but after reading it, I'd make mental reminder to reply them later which ended up forgetting for days or couldnt remember at all. So sue me ok?

And talking about calls, I received numerous missed calls not only from friends but from B, from MIL who could only call at certain time of days (sorry Mak..) from my Mom. So dont feel so special ok?

If you really miss me that much, contact me through FB ok. I check my FB every day.haha

 

Wadcha lookin at??? am the reason why mommy donno where her phone at. Got prob?

Exclusive Pumping Mom

Today is the 28th day since Muhaimin was born. And till today, he still cannot latch properly when I try to breastfeed him. I feel like a handicap mom everytime I think about this - cannot breastfeed my own baby. It's definitely heartbreaking and frustrating and God knows how sad I feel. I've done quite a research, asked the doctors and other moms for tips to get him to latch. I've tried. He did latch for few times but after a few seconds, he gave up. He either fell asleep or screamed even louder. =__='

So I started pumping. The first time I did nothing came out except air and tears.haha then a few drops. I got my first ounce one night after 2hours of pumping!!. It wasnt much but it felt soooo good to know I have milk! hehehe

 I was super happy that I took this picture.muehehehe

When the doctor asked how I feed Muhaimin, I would answer through bottle and the idea came to them is formula milk. It's kinda frustrating because the perception some people have about giving formula milk to a baby. When I explained how I expressed the milk only then they 'oh'...

And everyday when Muhaimin was screaming his lungs out because he was super hungry, the same lines would be repeated over and over again by other people 'kan senang kalau nak direct' hurt me a little bit. I feel like I've failed as a mom. =(

So every single day also I would go search for tips or stories that match my situation just to boost my spirit a lil bit. Just to feel like I'm not the only failed mom in the world. My research brought me to this alien term that I've never heard before 'Exclusive Pumping Mom or EP MOM.

Basically, this kind of mom fit neither in the breastfeed mom or formula feed mom groups. In between which is a win-win situation. I was once frustrated when a doctor told me by just pumping, the milk would not be able to last long. Because baby is the best stimulator compared to a pump. I was sad and cried after being told that and tried to set my mind if I could bear till after confinement, I would take it. However, till I learnt the term, and found many blogs, support group about moms who have to pump their milk for various reasons, my life has never felt better.

Since then, my world is brighter. I dont feel down or stressed anymore. At least Muhaimin still gets what's best for him =) THough I still feel a bit disappointed, maybe it will work on next baby. InsyaAllah

Here is one example of a mom who was very dedicated to feed his son breastmilk. If you are facing the same problem and feel down, read up!

Oh by the way, I get full support for le hubby and family that I pump every 2-3 hours in a day. It's very very tiring but worth it. Initially, I could get 2oz per session now I could get maximum 7oz per sesh. Alhamdulillah. =) Now my life is filled with pumping, keeping, heating, feeding and sterilizing.

 

His typical face during feeding time. What to do? Need to warm the milk first laa....

Pic taken by Atok

I can fly!

Look Ayah, I can do this!

New Timetable

Muhaimin pretty much my timetable now. When he sleeps, I sleep. When he bathes, I too. 

Actually not all the time. My daily routine is pack that sometimes I hope there were more hours in a day.

Muhaimin still refuses direct feeding.I still try on daily basis till he shrills so mommy has to give up.haha and because of that, I have to pump every 2-3 hours. I read somewhere a mom managed to give breastmilk to her baby till 2years old tho the baby refuses direct feeding too. She carries her pump everywhere she goes. Definitely boosts my spirit!

Anyhoo, I practice power pumping so each pumping session will take one hour. If Muhaimin sleeps around 3 hours per day, I'd have extra time to rest. But lately he slept for 2hours per session which left me very tired at the end of the day.huhu bcause I have to rush between feeding him, changing diaper, make him sleep,make myself sleep and pumping. if only he wants direct feeding.....i could have extra hours to rest.huhu

Honestly speaking, since his arrival, my time flies. Before I know it's already another day. hehe good thing also coz I dont get to think funny about other stuffs.hehe

 

Buah hati pengarang jantung mommy =)

Baby Blues

When I was still naive about pregnancy and birth, I always thought they were fun. I always thought to hold your baby after hours of struggling with contractions was the happy ending. I always thought that a woman would be super happy holding the bundle of joy.

 

I was happy too till what I might call as baby blues, arrived. Quote from American pregnancy Association (wahhh gitu cam buat thesis..haha)

Mood swings after the birth of a baby are not uncommon. While the “baby blues” are the least severe form of postpartum depression, it is important not to ignore the changes that are happening in your body. Many women feel confused about struggling with sadness after the joyous event of adding a new baby to the family and often don’t talk about it

I didnt know I was having baby blues till I googled about it few days ago and thought of sharing it here. I was a bit depressed after we came home from the hospital. Juggling between the baby, the surgery pain, the discomfort, and changed of daily routine and oh the hormones (i just love to blame the hormones hehe)made that first two weeks miserable for me.

I cried constantly especially after the 4th day up to a week. I cried when there's no milk after pumping, I cried when Muhaimin refused me, I cried when I saw my belly, I cried when Muhaimin cried at night, I cried when I was in pain.

Not only tears, I was very moody also. Kesian my hubby. He had to be patient taking care of two babies.hoho There was one time when I felt everything was too overwhelmed for me I refused to hold Muhaimin. I didnt want to look at him. I didnt want to hear him at all. I let B and my mom handled everything. I didnt tell B initially but after a day, I confessed and broke down. A mommy is supposed to love the newborn unconditionally, but why did I feel that way? I even became grumpy when B paid more attention to Muhaimin than me. Pfftt~ what a drama-mommy.

Anyhoo, I had all the symptoms of baby blues stated in the website.
Symptoms of “baby blues” include:

• Weepiness or crying for no apparent reason
• Impatience
• Irritability
• Restlessness
• Anxiety
• Fatigue
• Insomnia (even when the baby is sleeping)
• Sadness
• Mood changes
• Poor concentration

I think the only way to get over baby blues is support. I have a very supportive husband. When I told B I had no feeling towards Muhaimin as a mom should have, he didnt judge me. He keeps encouraging, giving advices and words of wisdom and told me all these would pass. And every free time we had we would talk about our feelings even for 5 minutes. No judge. and that helps. A lot. By the end of week 2, I was feeling more of myself. I started to feel happy again, though still tired.heheh

I believe if I didnt talk about how I feel, I would be so depressed till now. Alhamdulillah that I've passed the depressed moment. Now I cant let a day pass without gomol-ing my hero!

To all mommy-to-be, be prepared for things like this coz it will swing by unannounced.hehe be prepared mentally and physically to welcome your bundle of joy. Baby blues, if you ignore it could lead into postpartum depression, which is more severe. Talk to your husband,family and friend about how you feel. They will understand. And enjoy the new journey.hehe

 

Mommy loves you hero =))

Abdul Muhaimin

My baby's name is Abdul Muhaimin. And this is a post about how we got the name.

The story started years back when his daddy and mommy had just started dating. One of the first few topics we talked about was what to name our babies. Ok we were barely 18 years old that time, nampak tak kegatalan nak kawen di waktu itu?hahaha

His daddy loves the name Muhaimin.

9 years later, Muhaimin was born. So we name him Abdul Muhaimin.

Muhaimin is one of Allah's names. I learnt somewhere that if we want to name our children using the God's name, we have to put 'Abdul' first. Abdul means servant. Because no human being can match up to the Almighty.

All in, Abdul Muhaimin means 'servant of the protector'.

I know the name isnt as fancy as other babies names but I love it. Simple, classic and very meaningful.hehe He is going to be our my protector, a good brother to his younger siblings and insyaAllah a good servant and protect his deen.

Sometimes I call him Hero.hehe You will forever be Mommy's hero. Love you!

What to prepare to welcome a baby

I am still very new to this motherhood journey but a colleague asked the other day. What to prepare to welcome a baby. I thought hard for this and finally told her, just prepare as much as you can coz baby stuffs will never be enough. This is true for me coz 3 weeks after delivery, I still have stuffs I need to buy. Lucky we have online shopping nowadays! =p

I also did ask around when we wanted to start preparing. Most people would tell prepare the clothes first.Some said go for big or things that require more money first.Some said buy anything you see.haha

But lemme tell you, there's no tip that will fit you. Because your needs and your baby's needs are different.

For example, when we bought Muhaimin's clothes, some friends would say buy a few newborn sizes. Some said buy 3months and above sizes. I went for the latter coz I'm stingy liddat.hehe But, Allah has his own plan that Muhaimin came out not as small as other babies were. He fits the clothes we bought perfectly! In few months, am gonna hunt for bigger size clothes for Muhaimin.

Another example is about breastpumps. Many told me that I wont need the pump at least in the first month. I would be breastfed Muhaimin all the time that I wont need one pronto. Again, we could only plan, but sometimes I wont go our way. I still bought it a few weeks before I gave birth mainly coz it's kinda costly. So with the extra budget last month, I bought one.hehe My milk came 5 days after I deliver and because of that, Muhaimin refuses to be fed directly. He loves the bottle more than me =__='.So I have to pump every 2-3 hours and thanks to my overworked pump, Muhaimin gets to have world's greatest milk.

Thank you spectra. =)

 

But because I thought I would be breastfeed him I didnt prepare any bottle feeding stuffs. Can you imagine the chaotic situation the first few days after we left the hospital? Luckily, my cousins gave some bottles (thanks Anis and Kak GG) so that saved a lot. We didnt have the liquid to clean the bottle, no sterilizer, no warmer. It was very tiring and chaotic la..for me at least.haha Luckily, the hospital gave us a tin of Formula milk if not lagi mak stress~~

 

Some of the bottles. Feeding, breastpump bottle and milk storage. the other half are still waiting to be washed. Thanks to Kak GG oso for the bottle rack. Very very very useful.hehe

In conclusion, prepare what you can, and dont forget to budget. Babies dont need expensive stuffs. Muhaimin pooped and peed on the mattress (tho not so expensive) and his clothes many times already. ahahahaha

Birth Story #2

so... where was I??

OH okay. The baby's out. It's time to close me. The doc and her crew were super professionals coz while closing me, they could joke and laugh around. I was still high but remembered talking to myself 'best jugak jadi doctor ni'.hahhaa

At 8.30 am, the operation went well. I was then rolled into another room for observation/waiting/dunno what la. But was in the room for some times. While in the room, I felt my right hand became hot and itchy. The nurses came and checked on me several times so at one of those times I told them about my hand. One of the nurses quickly called the anesthetist to check. He arrived quickly and asked how I felt around the area. My hand had become so swollen at that time. He thought it was the hand where they injected the drugs for the surgery but it wasnt. So garu kepala jugakla doc tu.haha Anyhoo, he said he will continue to monitor my condition and reminded me to update any weird things if any. Coz he knew I'm allergic to pain killer so takut jugok lerrr kan.

My big hand. but dont look so big here.

 

I fell asleep but not too long before I felt the bed was moving. The nurse told me I would be sent to the ward. Cut story short, with the world spun around me, I was in the observatory ward. I saw Mom and B a little later but couldnt make sense of what's happening. Then I fell asleep. Real sleep.hehe

I puked through out the day. I was so hungry but since I puked, no food was given. Very embarrass to tell this but for the sake of memories, lemme write it here. I cried and begged and sobbed like little girl for food to be brought to me.hahaha bila fikir2 balik serious malu gilerrr.mesti nurse kat situ dah gelak2.hahahahahaha

I starved close to 48hours before finally my doc let me sip half glass of milo.itupun sebab nurse kena call doc malam2 bgtau aku nangis2 nak makan. Ya Allah malunyaaaaaaaaaa .... I first met Baby Muhaimin later that afternoon. Was too weak to get up so B put the baby next to me. He was lying in my arm.hehe 

  

That's the story. Not so interesting la. except the part I cried for food. Drama sangat okeh!

Anyhoo, this is my first time giving birth. I have to admit, I'm a bit traumatised by the post-surgery pain till I told myself, maybe one is enough. But let's see till I fully recover. I love babies. Dont think one is enough.hehehehe

 First photo of Baby A. 

Abdul Muhaimin B. Saiful Fikri

Birth Story #1

 I think I should write about my experience delivering my first baby. FOr future reference. hehe and also for Ieer who has been asking about this =p

I was hoping to have a cool chronology of my birth story. However, since mine was C-sec surgery, not so interesting la. It's like 'pop' voila! a baby is here!haha I think I overused the word 'pop out' through out my pregnancy, in the end I almost literally pop out my baby.hehehe Continue reading if you are still interested =). 

23 August 2013

3.30pm in the doc's room. I was there for a weekly check up. Scan showed my amniotic level was at an unhealthy level so Dr. Ishaireen decided it's time for the baby to pop out. She said I could try for normal delivery but there were risks where the baby might refuse to come out. Mainly because:

1. He wasnt engaged at the time and was too far from the cervix opening.

2. It's my first born, so it's gonna be more difficult.

3. The baby's size is big.

So Dr. Ishaireen decided a C-sec would be a better choice. She wanted to have the surgery that afternoon but I asked to hold on so that B could fly home. Cut story short, I was admitted right away so she could monitor me and Muhaimin. First time experience sleeping in a hospital ward.

 Before admitted, here in labor room for CTG test.

 Last picture of le big belly. Since no one was around to help take pic, so a selfie it is.haha

24 August 2013

5 am - Nurse came to check my blood pressure. They came every one hour through out the night. Then the nurse inserted poop bomb into my eoeo and less than 5seconds, I was eoeo-ing in the toilet.haha then took a shower.

6 am - Nurse came again to monitor baby's heartbeat. CTG test they call it. Normal reading. Baby was still able to swim in an almost deserted womb.hahah

7am - B and Mom arrived. Changed into surgery gown. Nurse came and gave me sleeping pill and dunno what pills to swallow. My anesthetist prescribed the sleeping pill to calm me through out the  surgery. dunno why he felt i needed that. later, was Feeling dizzy and super high.

7.25am - transferred to another bed. Kissed mom and B's hand (shy to kiss him hahaha) and asked for their prayers and forgiveness.

7.30 am - pushed into the operation theatre. I was high and felt soooo calm. I was first asked to sit up right and hug a pillow then i felt a tinge of pain on my back.lying on the table, the nurses had all kinds of wires on both arms. then I felt they piled clothes on my body and left an opening around my belly. Then they put another cloth covering my view to my belly. Tried to search for any reflection on the lights above but fail.few minutes later I heard Dr. Ishaireen's voice. Bubbly as always, she asked how do i feel.told her I feel 'high'. haha she told me to relax and enjoyyyy. Next, she asked whether I could lift my legs or do i feel any pain on the legs. I said no. Then I knew she had started rummaging my belly. Again I was high and my mind was blank.not sure what to do. I almost felt asleep when my stomach felt like it was pumped by somebody. The crew was trying to push Muhaimin out. I experienced no pain but very uncomfortable. macam rasa diorang tekan2 bahagian atas perut to push the baby out. I remembered telling the nurse 'sakit, sakit' but i dont think it's painful la.just dunno how to describe it.haha

7.53 am - heard a loud and high pitch cry. the cry was very distinct, not usual newborn cry i heard on tv. he shrilled then stopped then shrilled again.hahaha I recalled smiling and told myself 'ouu that's my baby' then started to fell asleep. Not sure how long I slept but a nurse nudge me and brought Muhaimin's face close to me. oh at the time, the doctor was busy sewing me up! I nodded and called out his name.then the nurse turned him and showed me his 'ball'.hahaha she later asked me 'a boy or a girl?' pfffttttt~ 

The doctor took about 45 minutes to close me. 7 layers of skin, whaddaya expect?

Ouu Muhaimin's up. Will continue later!

Day 14

I have lost count on the date and day since I gave birth. I only count how many days have passed since Muhaimin's arrival. Like today, I was surprised coz Mom came home early. Ignorant that today is Friday =__='

Anyhoo, 14 days had passed. I am becoming more me now. Not so emotional like daysssss before. Not so stress. SOmetimes only.

Muhaimin's umbilical cord finally bid goodbye today. It was a heyuuuugeeee relief for me. Seriously.

And his jaundice reading is better. Today is at 6.8. Doc start below 5 is the best but since he shows good progress, no need to go for daily check up anymore. Yeayy!! Penat hokeh ulang alik klinik hari2 dgn perut sakit.muehehehe

B will fly home at the end of this month. Dont worry about us here B. We are doing super fine =)

Lastly, Muhaimin, day 14 =)

First Time mommy stress

I tot I would never blog about this but I guess one way of me to release the tense is through blogging.

World knows (cewahhh rasa retisss...) that I am a first time mom. There are so many things that I dont know and still learning. Or I tot I knew or read it before but still when I had to face it, it still hard for me to deal with. I notice that the first week up till now I would be in stress mode at least once a day.I would cry or sink into my own depression wall. The absence of B made things worst for me. I know it's not healthy but worry not, I'm trying to deal with this as positive as possible.

My stress level started off when I learnt that my baby had his first taste of milk not from his mom but a formula. using bottle. The first day of his arrival I cried and begged for my baby to be sent to me. The nurse wanted me to rest plus I puked constantly after the surgery and needed to rest. When Muhaimin was brought to me I was too weak to get up and breastfeed him. I know back then how important the first contact between mom's breast and the baby and was very worried he would resent the original nipple. And I only started producing milk after the 5th day which means the first 4 days Muhaimin was given FM. T___T And my worry becomes reality. Till today he refuses me. I tried all sorts of position to breastfeed him, tried to calm him but in the end both of us became frustrated. He would shrill till his face turned super red and that's when I gave in. Sayu hati tengok anak nangis macam tu.... But then, if you are not able to do what a mother should do, it makes you feel like you are the worst mother in the world. And i'm feeling that every second....

Next is....on the 5th day also jaundice decided to dropped by. I guess it's because he didnt get the world bestest milk. His reading started off at 11.1 but the next day escalated to 12.8 and the highest was 13.8. I was under a lot of pressure on those days because the only cure is mom's milk and I was not producing much. and with him refusing the nipple..... But yesterday the reading fell to 9.9 which is a relieve to both B and I. But he still looks a bit yellow-ish.

another one is the remaining of umbilical cord is still there. usually it would fall in 3-5 days but Muhaimin's still around and today is already the 11th day. But it is showing sign to drop anytime soon. I know he doesnt feel any pain but it pains me to see that still hanging there. Ngeri @.@

and of course the pain and the itch I'm having right now. With the surgery I had I need to rest most of the time. But taking care of a heavy baby is not easy where I have to carry him, nurse him, coo him, clean him most of the time. Mom and Umi really help a lot but there were times they were not available and I had to do it myself. So till today, I still feel the pain once in a while and without pain killer, it could be tiring.

I need sleep. hehe And I need my hubby. I need him to hug me and tell me all these will pass. Now I totally understand why some mothers would fall into post-partum depression. I'm praying hard I wont get into it and try to be as positive as possible. InsyaAllah

Mommy will be strong for you so you be strong for mommy too ok Munchkin!

Miss You

I'm still balancing and embracing this new motherhood journey. So far I think I'm doing fine.

But I miss my husband terribly. It's really terrible.

I dont feel happy without him around.

There's an empty hole in my heart when he left to the airport yesterday.

I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE.

This feeling is terrible. 

Terrible.

I miss you husband. Come back soonest =(