Saturday, June 23, 2012

A month

we are hitting a month,getting married to each other. after a wedding comes a usual and familiar question.

'Dah ada isi belum?'

at first i responded ok because i know friends and family are curious. but when i'm being compared with other newlyweds,it's getting on my nerves. if they are pregnant,it's the part of their rezki. B and I are not planning anything.if a bird decides to drop a baby on our doorstep,we would be the happiest couple on earth.if not,we would enjoy our honeymoon phase going travelling.

at some point i was angry too. last week i felt so tired and my appetite was almost impossible to fulfil. i ate a lot and wanted to sleep most of the some people said it's a common pregnancy symptom. at first i didnt buy it. but when you've been told over and over again,you started to believe it.

i admit i was naive. i told b about the says and he was hoping too. i got a nerve to buy a pregnancy test kit.though i was skeptical but i had hopes. a little hopes.

i did the test. and the single line i felt like it was glaring at me. it's negative. of course it's negative.i know my body too well. and i was angry for trusting those people.

i told b about the test over the phone. and he sounded disappointed. and that got me angry too because i built his hopes. yesterday when i asked him bout that fake alarm, he still looked sad. damn!

we are staying separately. i want to enjoy all the times we have when we see each other. and i dont think i can handle being pregnant away from him.

ergo, i have few plans for us to go travel.hihi i dont want to listen to all that pregnancy thoughts for the time being. i want us to enjoy this period until our baby decides to pop.

p/s hv a great weekend everyone!
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