Monday, December 26, 2011

Different Backgound

I never thought about this but during my pre wedding course, in one topic, the speaker talked about different background of to be married couple. Fail to adapt to the differences might lead to arguments and worse, divorce. Honestly I never really thought about this till the course. One positive thing eh?

I myself have a mix and sometimes confusing background and culture. haha My dad was born in Spore and grew up in Melaka. He's quite modern and open minded and hate to be attached to 'adat'. In life, he believes more in doing what the religion wants us to do more than adat.

My mom, on the other hand, was born in a small, really small town in Sik, Kedah, grew up traditionally as a malay girl who's very much tight to the religion. But unlike my dad, mom is very traditional and takes into account most of the adat. 

My stepmom was born in N9, grew up in Kedah and studied overseas. She's just like my Abah, i think. Modern but based on religion. 

My siblings and I, apart from the mixture of our parents' background, were born in Negeri Sembilan and Melaka then later grew up in Miri, Sarawak and Brunei. fuhh! So my siblings are quite fluent to speak in Sarawakian dialect and my half siblings are fluent in Bruneian language. 

My bro's class. The purpose of this picture is because of the name of the school. In case people dont believe we grew up in Miri.hahaha

We met Saiful Apek when we were in Jerudong Park, Brunei. That's my sis he was hugging! the rest of us were playing bumper car when they took this picture. I remembered Apek wasnt feeling so well that night. He came with the rest of Senario guys. Wahhh gitu panjang explanation.hahaha

Jerudong Park too. But different year. All complete, the 9 of us siblings. Now I know how my parents felt when they brought us all to a place. Macam anak ayam ramainyer.hahahah

Anndddd I think because of this exposure, we are different.hahaha 

Ok my pointttt issssssss.....  (ok I crap half of the page now only come to the main point..ciss!)

It's crucial to learn and accept the differences of your partner. One thing I learn is you wont get 100% of what you expect from your partner to be. The most is 60%. Therefore, setting the right mind is very important. I think I'm quite lucky that I grew up in Sarawak since B's from there. I can speak the dialect pretty much fluent - except if they use really specific term. 

Though B is a Melanau, he doesnt speak the languages so do his family. Because Melanau language is totally different from the Malay Sarawakian dialect. Yesss Melanau is a language by itself just like Iban and other races in Sabah and Sarawak as it has it's own language system. Lucky me because if not, I would be so quite if they talk to each other.hahaha 

Last night, my cousin messaged me, saying that she was in her fiance's kampung. She said that she has difficulties in understanding the dialect.haha Funny story though. Diera, my cousin is from my abah's side. and his fiancee apparently is a distant relative from my mom's side in Sik Kedah.hahah what a small world =). Anyhoo, she sometimes fails to understand the conversation. Well, my sis in law, 2 years into marriage with my bro still couldnt get the dialect from my mom's kampung. Her strategy when she cant get the conversation is nod and smile. hahahah

Apart from language, more things to be considered are food - like different states have different ways of cooking and also adat. One of the speaker said there's this one case, the wife is from Kuala Pilah N9 and the husband is from Kelantan. As we all know, both states have different taste in food. N9 is into spicy food and the latter, sweet. The couple has problem in adapting each other's taste and brought the issues to Jabatan Agama. As small as that. pheww!

eh... quite long already my entry. Aiyakk! I hope future brides and grooms can understand my point. It's still morning and I have so many things in mind.tee hehe heheheheheheh


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