Sunday, December 18, 2011


I smell of Ikha's vomit. =.='

Today is Sunday, 18/9/11 which means it's been almost 8months being unemployed. I'm still coping with the stress, self-comforting has become a ritual thing that I do everyday. Telling myself over and over again that the time will come for me to have a real job. InsyaAllah.

Money is super tight for me, for us. Though we are yet to be married, B is shouldering most of the expenses for the wedding. I really really want to help him, to share the burden. The best I can do is not asking for ridiculous things.hehe Alhamdulillah, both of us managed to stick on the budget for the gifts. It's festive season right now so we got all of the gifts at discounted price.hehehe and maybe it's the rezeki to get married, most of the things to be settled became very smooth i.e. buying the jewelleries, booking the cards. No hustle. 

Sometimes I have this doubt about making the right decision to get married. Whether is this the right time for us to settle down. I mean me, the unemployed. It's not like suka-suka thing 'yeayea nak kahwin yeayea nak kahwin' kinda stuff. I think about this EVERYDAY. I dont want to be anybody's luggage, to be stuck around like a leech to B when we get married. Usually I ended up feeling helpless and wanted to call the wedding off but you see, wedding is not your own thing. It involves many parties. and it's complicated. haish.

At the moment, I'm depending 100% on my mom for the financial source. It's hard especially when mom complains about me not getting the job because it's kinda directing to me. But she is being so understanding and supportive about this. She knows that I have no other choice. Wedding aint cheap yo. My parents are sponsoring for the food and it is estimated to burn at least 20K. Because the guests are expected to be 2000 people. =.=' Takyah la cakap kahwin biasa2 ke apa. Makan jeww memang dah RM10 per head. Semoga rezeki Mak Abah terus murah. 

I have my backup plan, what if the posting issue is yet to be solved by the time I'm married. I might stick to online business or... jeng jeng jeng... other business to do.heee Living cost in Bintulu aint cheap yo. Almost like KL since it's the oil and gas city so most people assume that those who work in Bintulu is freakin' rich. The rental starts at RM800 for a decent 3bedroom house... We plan to buy a house asap but the price starts at 300k for a single storey terrace house....... *korek wallet jap*.

The best I can do is be patient. I used to meroyan everyday before this but I just realize that the more I meroyan, it brings more stress on B. So it's not good. Enough with the meroyan. Be cool bebeh!

p/s I feel like writing hence the long post.hahahahah

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