Fun.: Why Am I The One

Somehow it speaks to me

Husband

I read Vivy's latest post just now kinda made me ponder on myself right away. She talked about appreciating your husband and stop comparing them to your friends', siblings, celebrity...etc. I do that sometimes (honestly) but I have never wished to marry some one else other than B. NEVER. And InsyaAllah, will never be. He is the best gift god has ever given to me and I wouldnt trade him for anything.

Now that he's back in Bintulu, it's my part to deal with his non-presence around me. Since he knocked me up, I find it becomes difficult to say good bye or to go home to an empty room where his smell still lingers. It's easy for me to break down and sob like no body's business. It's even easier to indulge in self-pity mode. But, Alhamdulillah, it was never long, the period. I would let few tears out, and Baby A would kick as if saying 'you have me mommy'. With that, I took a deep breath, let out a long one, got up and walked out of that situation. I did that every single time. And it worked. But the cycle is going to repeat everytime B and I bid farewell.hehe

It's hard because I want B to be in every single step, development for the baby. And trust me, he is trying super hard to be in the picture. But it still breaks my heart everytime he saw me for the first time and said 'The bump looks bigger than the one I remember'. It's hard because I dont want him to say the same thing when Baby A is born. I cant imagine he's missing the first smile, the first laugh, aish...i cant go on....

We are going to go through this, Allah is going to help us. Till then, let's fight together, me amor =)

Baby Stuffs

Now we've come to baby stuffs phase. Our original plan was to start shopping the stuffs after I enter the 3rd trimester. We really stuck to that plan till....2 days ago. B fetched me from work then we headed to Jusco Bandaraya for lunch. Actually the plan was to buy story books for dear baby.hehe Anyhoo, there was a small-scale expo there and as usual we started to survey the price, the items, the functions of all the alien stuffs we saw. and of course, the clothes.haha Since I was a little girl, I love to see baby in rompers. They look soooo cute and chubby and round! And rompers were on sale too! 3 for RM29. I dunno whether we got a good price but it came down from RM49 for 3. I hope we made good decision.huhu

 

We didnt know how many rompers would be enough for a baby (heck we dont know anything =___=') so we bought two packs. We also bought 2 books for Baby A, one animal stories from the Quran and bed time stories.hehe I loveeeeeeeee when Baby A kicks everytime B him read the stories. 

Yesterday, I had a scheduled check-up with Dr. Ishaireen. After that, we had some time to spare so we went to Yong Fong, a famous baby shop in Melaka that sells baby items for much cheaper. Again the intention was to survey ONLY!. I wanted to know the price for a bedding set so off we went. 

My criteria for a cot have always been this:

Must be WHITE, SOLID WOOD. I hope it can last long enough till the last baby I pop out.hehe When we were babies, Abah bought a cot that lasted till my youngest bro (they were 9 of us!!!) and then mom passed it to my auntie. =)

Once at the shop, we asked for a white baby cot (yeaaaa I've always wanted that cot with solid wood material). AND THEY HAVE IT! MUEHEHEHE Again as first time parents, it was easy to stray from the initial plan. We bought it okay tho I personally think it's still very early.huhu We bought the bedding set together with the mattress. The cot costed RM280 from it's original price RM399 (as told by the auntie). For me it's cheap because the one I saw in Jusco priced at RM400++. So without further ado, we bought it!

If you want to see how the cot looks like, visit Shakina's blog. Mine is exactly like hers =) It's still in the box and I dont think I will assemble it till labour day.huhu

I'm glad that we bought it because baby stuffs aint cheap yo! We cant wait at the last minute to buy everything coz lepas tu garuk kepala.haha

This is B, practising to hold Ayfa. haha everytime he held her he would ask 'Does she look comfy? Is it ok to hold her like this? Is she going to cry?

B is really working hard to prepare himself to be a good father. I know he will be an excellent one just as a single child, I know his frustration when he couldnt handle a baby. You will be one superb dad B!

Pregnancy Update #Week22

Ola peeps! hehe been silent all these while coz B is in town. MUEHEHE But I'm back for another pregnancy update. We are in week 22 bebeh!!!!

 

Wore look-alike-penny yesterday. I was the biggest wardrobe malfunction because from the back I looked like a huge truck T___T

How far along? 22 weeks! yeay! 

 

Size of the baby? My baby is the size of a papaya. But...when I think of Abah's papaya....hmm... anyhoo, it weighs around 500gm and doctor estimates that it's going to reach 3kg by the time of labor

 

Weight gain? UWAAAAAA.... I gained 5.7 kg in 4 weeks and even the doc has warned me. She told me to control sugar intake and even told me to stop drinking milk. huhu but overall, Alhamdulillah, I'm healthy and still active =)

Belly condition? No stretch marks but I can feel that my belly button is going to pop out soon... ngeri nye~~

Energy level? Medium.

 

Sleep? So-so. I lie on my left side most of the time.

 

Maternity clothes? No need to ask already laaa.......

 

Comfort level? Average.

 

Cravings? I still want bathtub...

 

Best moment of the week? When I put my hand on my belly and I could feel it's movement. That was one hell of indescribable feeling!!!! and we bought baby's rompers and cot.weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
 

What I miss the most? Meniarap atas katil

What I look forward to? Ermm.... dunno...at the moment

Weekly Wisdom? Be strong!

Not So Good Day

I woke with a slight uneasiness in my stomach. I resumed morning routine as usual, got into the car then zoomed to school. On the way to school, I knew something was not right. I feel like a thousand needles were poking my stomach. I had the urge to throw up also. I messaged B, but continued driving to school. I should have turned back, gone home and slept.haha

I was not sure whether it was gastric, heartburn or food poisoning. But it was bad. I was sweating the whole time, and the needle pain didnt stop. I forced to puke but to no avail. When I went to see GPK to settle few stuffs, he noticed I looked pale. I explained to him and he asked me to go home. Funny enough, I refused. Soooo many things stopped me, class, meeting, MOM. So I stayed till evening, around 5pm.

Tabah tak?hahaha ok i have no point actually just wanna ngerepak.

Pregnancy Update #Week21

I've become so lazy these days to ramble on blog. I have pending posts of my Korea trip, baby development, ngerepak mode.... I have so many things to say but in the end they all went into drafts @.@

Anyhoo, for this week update, Week 21 bebeh!

 

Taken a day before entering 21st week. Kira valid la kan?haha Black shirt can hide me belly no more T__T. Wore this on the day I flew back to Melaka.

How far along? 21 weeks! yeay! 

 

Size of the baby? My baby is the size of a CARROT!! How come they equal it to a carrot?? So thin lehh.... Baby A is about 27cm long weighing at around 350gm..but his mommy gains 10kg already...T____T

 

Weight gain? In 2 weeks time, I gained 3kg... aaaaaaaaaaa I was 53kg in week 19, weighed meself during check up now 56++...aaaaa the nurse has warned to be careful or else.....hahaha

Stretch marks? No but all the blue veins have started to appear. Trust me, even I am scared to look at those blue veins..macam perut alien.haha

Energy level? Medium. I need to stop for a while when climbing stairs. If B was around, he had to push me to go up the stairs. It helps!

 

Sleep? Lacking. I now find that if I was too tired during the day, I couldnt sleep at night. Sore everywhere.

 

Maternity clothes? This week, a colleague gave me a maternity dress. Awwwww....I feel so much loved. Digressing..yea I'm on maternity clothes, fully at 5 months pregnant.

 

Comfort level? Average.

 

Cravings? I WANT BATHTUB! This is serious. I want to lay in there for hours with warm water.

Best moment of the week? Baby A martial art-ing a lot this week. I feel the connection.hehe
 

What I miss the most? My husband. He's coming home next week yeayyyyy!!! I have another check up next week so he's excited to see Baby A =))) sanggup balik tuuuuuu

What I look forward to? Baby A first cloth.heheheh

Weekly Wisdom? Embrace the journey.

Being Pregnant

I never knew what were the things a pregnant mother had to face until I join the club. No wonder a mother is always the first on top of the list. Before, I;ve read/heard stories about morning sickness, heartburn, cramps, backache, headache, numbness, bloated, stretchmarks, down to all those scary complications. When now, God is giving me the chance to experience some of those symptoms only can I understand how hard it is to carry a growing living in your stomach.

Apart from a low HB (lack of red blood cells), I'm pretty much healthy and active and slightly emotional (ok you cant discard that..haha). But I do experience all the other normal symptoms like backache, heartburn and cramps. There are no cure for those except to embrace them and be positive. And surround yourself with people who understand your situation. No wonder a pregnant woman usually sticks with other pregnant mommies or mommies because these people understand. 

For me, it's ok to complain once in a while about backache, cramps because these are discomforts situation. Just like when I wasnt pregnant, I did complain about headache. Only this time, a few would lash back saying 

"Be thankful that you are pregnant, you should not complain"

"Some people would die to be in your place bla bla bla"

Did I hurt anyone when I talked about my cramps? or headache?

I'm really truly sorry if I do. Not my least intention to do so.

I want a child of my own and never realised talking about the symptoms would imply that i DONT WANT a baby. Duh~~~~ Lemme make this loud and clear

"I'm no Christina Yang but a Meredith Grey when it comes to baby"

 

How can I not want a baby liddis? How can anyone not wanting this?hehe

Ayfa Maklang pinjam gambar eh. =))))

A pang in the face

Today we had the first round of Ujian Tara in school today. Since I'm carrying a baggage, I am given only the MC job. As much as I appreciate the consideration, being an emcee means I stationed myself at the grandstand with the senior teachers. The younger teachers....you know work on the field *cough...cough*... So I lepak-ed with the senior group today.

Their topics were different than what I usually had with my peers so most of the time I smiled, laughed or nodded.hehe So while talking, suddenly this kakak asked:

"Ain tak sedih ke suami dok jaoh?"

No one, ever has asked me that question, directly to my face. No one. So I didnt know how to react. So I cracked a small laughed. Maybe she realised the damage that she'd done, she withdrew and quickly changed the topic. Somehow I feel like she shouldnt have done that. She should have let me answer it because what happened after that my mind cant stop thinking of the answer. Even until now.

Of course everyone knows how I feel, not exactly but roughly. But still...haish...

Next month, we will hit our 1st year anniversary. Time flies huh? Not sure how we survived the distance.haha of course with tears, motivation and lotsa blog posts =p

Pregnancy Update #Week20

Alhamdulillah, we are halfway there =))

 

Daddy decides to join the picture today. Woot!

How far along? 20 weeks! yeay! 

 

Size of the baby? My baby is the size of a banana!! 

 

Weight gain? My belly showed sudden development in a week but I havent weighed myself or rather too scared to do so. Maybe I gained another 1 or 2 kg....

Stretch marks? Alhamdulillah no but it's very itchy.

Energy level? Medium. I cant walk that much...huhu

 

Sleep? Troubled. Woke up few times either for bathroom visits or cramps.

 

Maternity clothes? I try not to buy maternity clothes but bought larger shirts.haha

 

Comfort level? Average.

 

Cravings? Anything cheeeeesyyyy...yummssss!

Best moment of the week? When B read bedtime story to Baby A and he responded actively.hehe
 

What I miss the most? Lie on my stomach and menggeliat. Now B is like 'Sayang, B menggeliat knek!' saje nak bagi I jealous =____='

What I look forward to? A healthy pregnancy experience

Weekly Wisdom? Treasure everything around you especially B and family. *hugs*

Daddy Time

I flew in Bintulu last night. Melaka is having a public holiday on Monday so decided to come though this time with extra baggage to carry.haha I tot I would never come until I deliver the baby but oh well~~

I've told B to always talk to baby, so that he will know his father. We found it weird and funny to talk to a bulging stomach so I suggested for him to tell a story instead. That's what he did last night and this morning.

 

That's B reading a story for Baby A while his hand was on me belly. =))

By know I have noticed that Baby is usually very active from morning till afternoon. Late afternoon till night he is usually passive. But last night, when B was telling story, he somersaulted in my belly that even I was amazed.haha He's responding to his daddy!!!

I feel so much blessed with God's creation. I really do. Monday, please dont come. I dont wanna go back, yet ....

 

Not my day

Today.... is just...not my day. Few incidences made my blood goes upstairs.hahaha

1. We had fire drill today. It was supposed to be around 8.30 am so I postponed my breakfast time few times because I didnt want to be running while eating. The firefighter team came around 10.20am. I was freaking hungry. Hungry me grumpy me.

2. My form 6 classes are at the top floor of a 3 storey building. Since the students have sit for their MUET last month, usually other subject teachers would request to take my periods. There's this one lady teacher who loves to enter the classes during my period but seldom told me. So today, I received no request so I assumed that no one wanted the periods. My periods were the last 2 before school ended and we had a staff meeting. So I brought all my stuff i.e. laptop, bags, food, water bottle and books to the class. Climbed till top floor and bumped into my student. She told me the teacher was in the class, taking my period. With back ache and belly ache, I really wanted to rush in and punch her in the face. Really I do!

3. In the staff meeting, as usual boss loves to condemn the teacher and blame the teacher for all the bad results. fine. It's demotivating when you have to listen to same drill over and over again. Why dont you go and teach and see how the boys behave?

4. We were assigned roles for the upcoming sports bla bla bla...i was fine but then I noticed something. So far I've been serving the school without complaining about any task given to me. But this particular task....i feel like.. c'mon..... I would be 6 months pregnant by the time the event started and you still want me to stay in school till 6pm? like...... kenapa colleague yg suka mengelat selalu tak dapat apa2 kerja?? cant you just let me off this year?? benci!

I am emotional, i know and fully aware. Blame me or the hormones or anything. I just dont feel good today.

The only thing that made my day is PHD had a promo where regular size pizza cost only RM8 so I bought 2. and the fact that tomorrow night Baby A gets to listen to his daddy's voice =)))))))))))))

Travel tips to Seoul, South Korea during winter for pregnant mommy

Wow, that's a very long and specific title.haha I want to share these tips to all pregnant mommies out there who are planning to visit cold place. I had some troubles when I was in Seoul because lack of preparation.hehe. Let's start!

1. Invest in a pair of good shoes. 
B bought me a pair of walking shoes which turned out to be super comfy as it supported the arch but I bought thick socks to pair hence made the shoes super tight. On the 3rd day we were there, B bought another pair for me coz I couldnt bear with the pain.hehe However, the shoes were too flat and it eventually killed my back.haha If I bought one size bigger for the walking shoes, my trip would be a breeze.

 

My so called Ugg Boot.Bought for 10k Won = RM30 jahhhh. hehe after my walking shoes killed my feet.hehe please check other pictures for the shoes

2. Pack lotsa food that cater to your appetite.
As a pregnant mommy in a cold place, I got hungry constantly. Thanks to my cousin Anis, I followed her advice and packed soooo many food from Malaysia. Biscuits, bread, canned food, sweets, instant noodles. Every morning B made sandwich packs for me to munch along the way.hehe thank you B! But no joke mommies, you'll get hungry super fast! Apart from that, be prepared for some of the local food that might suit your taste buds. I could eat the rice and the dishes but not the stew. it tasted weird.

 

Preparing sandwich packs before starting off the day  =)

3. Cold tolerance
We are the best person to know about ourselves. So, check how tolerant your body when you are in a cold place. I cant even sleep in an air-conditioned room. I get morning sinus almost every morning. Ergo, I made sure I wore 3 layers when I was walking around Seoul. The first layer was heattech or long john, then a long sleeve shirt then the winter jacket. then there was my scarf then a muffler and of course the gloves..hahaha the temperature wasnt that cold really (coz many Korean chicks wore mini skirt where as I looked like Kuih gulung.muahahaha) Why is this important? Cold weather gave me cramps and numbness. that's why. Dunno bout uols laa. But in case you miss all those things, you can find them for a cheaper price in Seoul. wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy cheaper. Like a good winter jacket priced around RM50 onleyhhhhhh!

Other Korean chicks dressed up in mini skirts. I looked like I was going to the Artic.haha 

4. Pack all the pills you can find
Apart from the vitamins, B made sure I pack all the necessary pills for traveling. I've had some bad moments when traveling like diarrhea, headaches, blocked nose, flu. So it's no harm to prepare for extra medications.hehe We asked my O&G about the pills that are suitable for pregnant mommy, so make sure you ask your caregiver as well. Just to make sure.hehe and also dont forget Koyok. All the walkings and runnings hurt my legs and feet pretty bad. My doctor said dont use any ointment but Koyok is fine. Koyok helped me through out the trip. Alhamdulillah

5. Bring a supportive husband.
 I guess this is the most important tip I could share. No joke ladies. With all the cramps, the constant hunger, headaches, backaches and what not, a very supportive husband will keep you going. They were times I gave up walking or just wanted to sulk and sit by the road side but my husband kept me going, waiting patiently while I sat and ate for a while. He never forced me to walk, constantly checking on me to make sure I didnt experience any weird pain. At night before we said good night, he would massage my feet and leg in any way he knew how to. And my back too. Every morning he woke up to prepare sandwich packs and biscuits and carried 2 bottle of drinking water to keep me hydrated..... B thank you so much... (tskkk...)

A short rest at the subway station. Penat!

Overall, the trip was fun. I got to experience cultural stuffs which I love so much, got to spend time with dear hubby and baby, got to be in a cold place for the first time in my life. Thank you Allah for making the journey memorable and a smooth one.

The 3 of us. Looking forward for another trip in the future =)

Beach Vacation

My favorite destination for a vacation will always be the beach. I want to go so badly. I want to feel the sand on my feet. I want to breath the salty air. I want to sleep with the sound of the waves.

I want to go to clear my head. A place where I dont have to think about other people. I want it to be just the two of us, me and Baby A.

Let's go shall we? But need to wait for Mommy's payday lah.hehe

I Wish

If only I could let out the feeling 

If only I could find someone to share this uneasiness

If only I could find someone who would listen

If only I could find someone who would let me express this anger

If only I could talk myself out from being too selfish

If only I could find someone who would understand exactly how i feel

If only I could...

Super Lazy

I notice that I've become super lazy these days. Super extremely lazy. When it comes to school work, the only thing that kept me going was God. The 'amanah' I carry force me to make sure my work's done. Every morning I woke up late, making just enough time to shower, pray and get ready to school. I dont iron my work clothes anymore. I choose something that need no ironing. When it comes to make up, I just make sure I dont look like Kak Limah. Hb low means I do look pale. So I cover with a thin layer of face powder and a quick drawing of eye liner.

Why cant I be like Vivy? *sigh*

Sometimes I feel kesian for B coz he had to walk along side with this bulky messy lady. Unable to wear wedges or anything higher than 1 inch, I feel even worst. haishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Dunno how Kim K can walk in 4 inches stilettos. 

Dont be fooled with the flawless skin. The camera we bought somehow edit the face to make us look flawless. i had huge eye bags, dark patches on the cheek (could be due to hormones) and scars. My make-up free face. 

Why oh why? 

Pregnancy Update #Week 19

So here we go again on the pregnancy update, Week 19 (One more week and I'll hit half the mile stone hehe)

Terasa diri sgt bulat, so gambar kecik. Today I officially wore 'the uniform' =)

How far along? 19 weeks! yeay!

Size of the baby? My baby is the size of a mango measuring about15-17cm long from crown to rump.

Weight gain? Before I went to Seoul, i was about 52kg. When I returned, still 52. means i did lose and gain some.hehe

Stretch marks? The skin around my waist has become super tight now. and damnnn itchy. You could spot me garu-ing anytime of the day.hahaha but no stretch yet.

Energy level? Still very tired from the trip. I feel sleepy most of the time.

Sleep? I can never lie on my back again. sobbssss if I do, baby will kick my back.haha I sleep most on my right side.

Maternity clothes? Fully T____T

Comfort level? Average. Comfort has become history in my life since I got pregnant. =)

Cravings? Weirdly after the trip, I have no lust for pasta anymore. Now looking for a new favourite.

Best moment of the week? Erm....*thinking hard* ermm....it's hard to say. Maybe now i can feel the baby somersault-ing frequently.

What I miss the most? Feeling sexy. Yeah it's true.

What I look forward to? Be happy and enjoy the journey.

Weekly Wisdom? Dont despise the boys too much else your baby will look like them.hahahaha

B is in Bintulu already. Came home to an empty room yesterday. He left the shirt he wore the night before, korean chocolate and Milky Soda. Allah, I miss him terribly...

Baby indeed makes relationship stronger. Before I got pregnant, I could bear (ok tipu) not seeing him often. But now we are searching for every reason to see each other more. I want this baby to know his daddy. I always forced B to talk to him.hahahaha

Home is Malaysia

Alhamdulillah, we have safely arrived home, yesterday evening. I love travelling but I love my country more. I love the food especially. Since yesterday, I couldnt stop munching.haha

Souvenirs that we brought back

I have always wanted to take wedding shoot at a studio. Never knew Allah made it happen in Seoul.haha We in Korean traditional wedding dress =)

 

Saiful & Nurul 

from Malaysia

Skin care for me and B, cotton fabric for me (after beranak nak buat baju baru kannnnn..haha), hair accessories for le nieces, fridge magnets for colleagues, friends and family, and korean long spoon and chopstick for me.

I will take my own sweet time to update our trip. =)

Our next big plan: Welcoming Baby A. Allah please ease our journey. Aminnnnnn