New Year is approaching.

Howdy people..

In few days, we are gonna say goodbye to 2010. Boy this year was a ride. been through ups and downs. but most of all they were all with friends. I couldnt be more thankful for all the experience. For this coming new year, i have no new resolutions. but to extend the old ones that have been with me for years waiting to be achieved =P

So, first and for all, I am gonna start my new year by rearranging all the business stocks. I just learnt how to do some basic account with my mum. yea i know it's kinda late right.haha before this i dont know how much money flew in and out. No tracks at all.haha so, this year, i am gonna keep track of everything. InsyaAllah. Just now i did some inventory checking. There are still many many items waiting for lucky owners to buy them, Want to be one?? =)

Another extended resolution is to lose some kilos. Actully, i had subconsciously achieved the target during my practical teaching where i lost about 5kgs. Unfortunately, i have regained back the lost kilos. T____T. so i need new motivation to lose the kilos. B challenges me to lose some. He will reward me with a brand new Levi's jeans if i manage to shed some weight before end of March i.e. our engagement kenduri. Ok. barang free, me want!! Bring it on Honey!

Another one and the most important is be better. I made mistakes, i hurt people, i hurt myself, so i wanna be better. Ignore nonsensical stuffs and enjoy the final sem of my 6-year course. Go to the beach with friends, belanja my family makan-makan and be nice to everyone.

Gmbateh!!

yea i am desperate for cash right now. i love money. people say money cannot buy happiness. well i have all the happiness in the world. the only thing i am lacking right now is money $$$$. Ka ching! I dont know what is wrong but this is the first time i am feeling so desperate for money. You know how much i have right now?not even rm50! and the semester is starting!

this morning my mum asked whether i got cash or not to go back tomorrow. i feel embarrassed. and said No. i am hitting 24 and still have to depend on parents for money. seriously, i feel like a loser, almost shed tears already. that's why i have been dragging my butt to go to UKM tomorrow. i am moneyless, nak makan ape wey kat sane?

and please, dont ask me to ask money from my boyfriend. am gonna kick your ass!! ya hear me??? hate it. he got family to support too and he will be the last person i would turn for money. like my bro said: macam la aku takde mak bapak lagi kan? yerrr emosi mak!

Mdm Monica, pleassssse make me rich A.S.A.P!!!

Semester is about to start!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I cant barely wait for the semester to start. Cant wait cant wait. with the new addition, Baby Ariana, my engagement, lotsa free time, cant wait.

GAMBAR TIADA KAITAN

when i am at home, i am restricted to go anywhere. not that i am complaining, just want to inform certain people that i am different compared to when i am in UKM. not that i go clubbing, lepaking so much but at home, i always be at home. if i want to go out, i have to answers zillion questions from my mum especially before i am allowed to go. i dont have that much freedom.

again, i am not complaining. just to inform. please understand my situation. tak payah sindir2 aku nak keluar ke. no need to make me feel guilty. plus, mom is paying for the car fuel. sapa aku nak komplen lebey2 kan kalau dia tak bagi keluar??

shisssss!if i were to choose between you and my mum, mum would definitely comes 1st!.

so what ever it is, tunggu la aku balik ukm dulu. bole?

snippet

It is hard for me nowadays to update my blog. I have set up my laptop on the dining table. This new location gives me no privacy to update. Ya i know eventually my abah, siblings and you will read this but i dont feel comfortable typing my hearts out with eyes watching me. Currently, the people in family have gone to the mosque so I am freeeeeeeeeeeee!

I have gone for hostel registration yesterday. Same room same roomate. Nothing extraordinary. Cleaned the room, arranged some stuffs and left. Yea I went all the way to Bangi from Malacca and spent almost RM100 for toll, petrol and food just to register myself and came back home. Nice!

Currently money is tight now so  I dont have any plans until the allowance day comes. I dont know how am i going to start this sem with few bucks left. Ask from parents?? Naaahhh! BUT only if they ask if i still got money. if they dont, i dont have a face to beg from them.

B is coming next month to shop for our engagement gifts and rings. Yea me excitedddddd!!! The initial plan was to have no engagement ceremony with no gifts and such but his mother insists we have one. So, me will get gifts!!! and of course I will have to exchange some gifts too. The plan now is to have a small engagement ceremony with two rings -risik and tunang. And 5 vs 7 gifts to be exchanged. Though we are gonna have a ceremony, I still wanna keep it simple. No mini pelamin, vogehh outfit, door gift bla bla bla. We plan, or more to me actually plan to recycle what ever baju kurung or baju Melayu we have. The only problem is my cousin is getting engaged too this coming February. She plans to have it quite a ceremony. I am afraid my mum would want to do something like that too since I am her only daughter so she tends to go a bit over sometimes. She would want something like that oso but i hope i could talk her into doing something simple only. Engagement only. what to show??hehe

What else?? oh ya, i wish MERRY CHRISTMAS to all my Christian friends especially my classmates - Ambun, Steve, Julian, Sarah, Ah Sze, Ka Phin, Chan, Edmond and Crystal, Sze-ern, and all whom i didnt mention here. Have a blast kay before the semester starts!!!!

Just kidding. Hope you all will get what you want for this celebration!! =)

Dear bloggy,

sorry for neglecting you. I have no story to tell so better not ramble anything. hehe But now i have a story la. The other day  i went to visit pretty Mummy, Suzie who has given birth to the long awaited Baby Tum Tum. I couldnt believe it when i touched the little baby girl. She is here now!! She is fair and cute.

Hye, I am Ariana. -->; this name is not official yet =)

Baby Tum Tum arrived early, about 10 days before the expected date. I was in Kedah when she arrived. I was worried when her mummy sent me sms that she was in labor. Oh well, everything is fine now. Just happy to see a good friend of mine having her first baby. 

p/s I cant wait for next semester to come. Next month B will come to shop for our hantaran gifts together. uuu excited mak!!

Dear Nurul,

I miss you.

Truly,
Your blog.

"AM HAPPY =)"

I love people who stands by me at my lowest state.

I respect people who hate me because they show me to stand up and held high.

I adore people who smile despite the hardship in their lives.

I admire people who can laugh at their own silliness.

I cherish people who always believe there's a silver lining in every dark clouds.

I idolize people who make the world a wonderful place to live in.

I appreciate people who understands that we are all different.

(originally from me, Nurul Razak, 2010)

It has been a rough few weeks for me. my emotional state was like riding a roller coaster. Everything is jumbled and shaken together to create a great martini. The quotes above are pretty much describing how i feel right now. I am living for my hometown in Sik, Kedah for few weeks. There is no internet connection. I hope to use all the time in the world there to think and reflect back about my life. What i really want and reorganize all my plans.

It is towards the end of 2010. In few weeks, we are gonna welcome 2011. Bye bye the time that we will never get back. I have not achieved any of my goals. actually goals that i have been planning to achieve or had become my new year resolutions for YEARS! I am not getting any younger. my biological clock has been screaming ' girl, do something or you live life liveless'. Scary right how the same person living in me always scream something like that and i always opted to ignore?

I have one more semester left and soon be a teacher in a place God-knows-where. I am not sure how i would be when that moment comes. But i am sure i can deal with it. i am a strong girl.

Before i stop writing and start packing to Kedah, i would like to say thank you to Shatieer my friend who cheered me during one of my darkest moment (cewah) in my life, Sally and Nadzlia. You all made me feel like 'oh, there are people who still love me, stand by me'. You know i wont bother you if i can handle all my problems myself. Thank you so much.

To B, let this incident helps us to be a better person, respect each other more, respect our parents. InsyaAllah, our jodoh will arrive soon.

To Ambun, my geng kereta myvi, can I appoint you to be sort of my engagement planner??hehehehehe

K peeps, enjoy the last bits of holidays!!

Yours truly,
Nurul Razak
Lendu, Malacca

It has been a rough week for me

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim.

First of all, i want you to know it takes all my courage and skin to tell this.

I am not getting married next year!

We planned but something came up and the plan had to be cancelled. It's due to personal issue so I wont disclose it to anyone. Let it be known to our family only. *sila jangan gosip bukan2 ye*

Of course i was crushed but i believe it is for the betterment for both of us. So that we will be more ready and mature. Marriage is not to be decide on an impulse.

Apart from that, this gives us chances to  get stable with our life, financial and emotional aspect.

Thousand apologies to dear friend Redzu wan two tree. Yang salu kenak bug ngan aku.hehe BTW your sister has send the quotation that we wouldnt miss. Hopefully the price stays when we want to get married.hehehehe

When will the big day be then?

Honestly, I DONT KNOW. But for sure, when our jodoh is here.hehe

and the engagement ceremony will still be carried out. So I invite all my friends to come to my house in Malacca on 2nd APRIL 2011. Block your date. hehe

missing my niece and nephew

p/s gambar adam skit je sebab semua gmbar yg ada muka masam..hoho

tul steng steng

ak sek mood ri tok. pen and sak at. sum or mk a pie of me. am tok rang si. ak mal mk lay. mak sak at. nur ad si jak lam dun tok. mok bel ked ne gik nak. to hell la

ak pun mok mas k di pun kad kad mal mok pik pas or la bh. ko pun sik tah mun 24/7 or mes ka ca ka nak?

Reality is cruel+ engagement ring

My worst fear right now is my weight. I was happy after my teaching practice that i lost 4KGs without i realised it. Really really happy. Unfortunately, the stress brought by my thesis last time made me eat more. and more. I gained another 2KGs. Then i told my self, nah, i can shed that 2 kilos in no time. Peanuts!

Last week, on the day of Eidul Adha, my weight was static after all the food i munched. Well, still ok. Happy of course.

Last night, i saw the scale next to the couch. So gatal la pegi pijak. #@$%^&*( I am back to my original kgs before i went for my practicum. WTH??

I am worried. I have 4months to lose some kilos and less than a year to get the ideal weight. I dont want to burst my wedding dress. Well havent found any but surely i want to fit in the SS size!!! $%^&*(. and one more thing, gaining more kilos make my finger fatter. B is coming next January to buy my engagement ring. Fat finger means more $$$$$!!!

 I bought that gold ring end of 2008 and i wore it on my middle finger. As you can see, can fit no more. i have fat fingers T____T

On a different note, I am happy. I have started discussing with my mom about my wedding. What i want and what i dont. And i told her where we are going to buy the ring, barang hantaran. all that stuffs. WEEEEE.!!!

and B is coming next January (mentioned already right???) oh well, excited much? =) We are going to choose the engagement ring together gether. the initial plan was to send a cheap one to him but no fun doing that. Nak jugak same2 orait. jOM Berangan bersama:

Once again: ini adalah untuk BERANGAN sahaja! i dont have the heart to 'rob' B just for a ring. hehe tp kalau bole pa salahnya...muehehehehehhee

p/s B, no pressure here. just k berangan jak =P

p/p/s If i get the emos type engagement ring, for the wedding, maybe no more ring. a bracelet will do =)

p/p/p/s Pictures from google=)

i feel like breathing fire right now. i can feel the warm air coming out of my nose. i am having sore throat and feeling very uneasy. i dont want to get sick. waaa...

OH i am a temporary mom~

Right now i am babysitting my nephew for few days as his parents is busy packing and repacking to move to a new house. So far i am doing fine except i am tired and sleepy most of the time. i woke up several times last night because i sorted of heard Adam's crying but actually he was sleeping soundly. orang melayu kate terngiang2.huhu

You know multi tasking is hard for me so i really have a different views to all mothers out there who can handle children, housechores, career at the same time. I find it hard for me to cook and look after Adam at the same time because scary thoughts always flash in my mind when he's not in front of me. 'What if he picks something and put it in his mouth? What if there's an insect waiting to bit him? What if he's hungry but i dont get his cue? you know like all sorts of thoughts. 

because all those scary images, my house is a total mess. i dont check on laundry. there are piles of dirty dish in the sinks. dry clothes waiting to be fold and kept in the drawers. oily kitchen. i just dont care as long as Adam is right in front of me. Right now i can blog because he's just fallen asleep. =)

i wonder if all mothers out there are facing the same situation as me. Mothers are cool ok. I respect single mothers more also. It's hard you see because the worryness will never go away!

k la peeps. i am sleepy. and hungry too.

Busy BEE

feel like i've abandoned this blog for quite sometimes now thought it's just for 2 days.haha i've been so caught up with work lately -- yes you read that riight. i am busy with the new opening of my blogshop CHIC HIJAB last few weeks. only now i can put all my attention to it after exam and thesis.

Alhamdulillah to God the Almighty because our business is running smoothly. We received satisfactory responses from the customers. Now we are working towards finding agents to market our product. Gosh, this is exciting. But a hehyuuuge gratitude to my business partner who believes in us and always has many ideas towards improving our business. you are gonna be one hell of a mother soon, SUsie!!

Apart from that, i've been stressed finding the perfect photographer for my wedding. yes, it is stressful!! sampai gado2 ngn B. muehhehe so far we have two options. One from Razali - amboi macam bunyi bestfren kan. So far, i like his work the most. He was suggested by my SIL. gambar die memang the bomb! please go to the link and tell me what you think of their work.hehe another one is my friend's sister. But we are still waiting for the sample and packages offered from them.

We have not had the exact date for our big day but InsyaAllah, next month we'll get the date. But surely it will be sometimes in Disember. A long time still huh? yea..but still sometimes i will get the panic attack. What if the photographer is fully booked? what if the mak andam is also booked? i dont wanna end up with crappy photographer or mak andam. waaa...

ok la. enough with the Bridezilla craps.

So, how's your holidays? =)

something for me =)

 i arrived home pretty late today. ran some errands with Suzie till late afternoon.

i saw a parcel on my bed. 

This was from B. A planner for our big day! =)

Thanks B!

tak mo ah sedih2 nak cuti, tp

apsal barang aku macam banyak giler ni? muat ke kereta??

Depressing, happy and sad~

i was so tired yesterday. i woke up at 5.30 in the chill morning just to re-print my thesis.after some house chores, i left home at 8.30am and arrived at UKM at 10am. Sent my thesis to be re-binded. Went for lunch at Metro Point. At 3pm, went Alamanda to find stuffs and something for dinner. At 5.30, i landed my right feet in my room. Chatted to long-lost room mate (actually only for a week) till 7pm. then took shower, had dinner and spread the note sheets on the table.

Few minutes later:

My head was on the table. shifting for comfortable position to take a nap. Attempts failed. Shifted to bed and asked my room mate to wake me after 15minutes. She did. told her another 1/2 hour. woke up. there was knocked on the door. so not in the mood to entertain guest. took my phone and called B. then sibling. Then Redzu. More people came to my room. aigoo...

In one hour hot-to-my-ear phone conversation, i started planning who'll be my wedding photographer.hehehe that's the only thing that cheered my mood last night.

i dont care about luxurious over the top wedding dress, the dais and other sort of thing. but i want my wedding pictures to be amazing. because that's the only thing left after all the receptions right?

Jom berangan bersama:

I dont really like overly-posed wedding pictures. because it's not natural. i love to look at the brides who's pictures were taken without they realise it. there's a glow on their faces. Happy glows! and i want that. and at the family members' faces too. the makciks. pakciks, cousins, the parents.these people will determine whether it's a fun wedding reception or not.

and another one, i dont understand why couples love to take their wedding pictures in the  bush, or abandoned house or the street behind the buildings. Korang dating kat situ ke ape? well just my 2cents.

p/s a relative of mine was involved in an accident with his friend. Both of them lost their lives yesterday. Can read the news, here

p/s sorry for shoving all depressing, happy and sad moments in one post.

Let's see it from here

tajuk tiada kaitan. it just popped in my mind.

wanna tell you what imma do this week in one nafas. *inhale*

starting tomorrow till thursday imma:

wake up early prepare breakfast since mom's not here clean the house packing go to suz's house pick up the green thingy (my thesis) go mydin to buy mineral water go to ukm packing stuffs tuesday wake up early hand in the green thingy to madam with ambun and steve then rush to jalan tar new stocks surveying new product then return to ukm do sommore packing sleep wednesday study the whole day with leen because havent learned a single word of lit subject be in a state of stress eat more poop not to forget watch HIMYM sleep some more thurs come the last day of exam wake up early drink nescafe go for exam answer successfully *hopefully* go out the dewan smiling ear to ear menyon with anyone who wants to menyon eat good food spend the last bit of allowance pack some more and sleep.

*exhale*

i;ll be back on FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yiihuu...and it's the end of the sem and one more semester left. aren't you as excited as i am?


p/s will babysit my nephew for the whole week next. yeah ada budak menjus macam aku.yea yea yea yea yyea *the chants continue*

it has been a depressing week. shall not say it here. what ever it is,hopefully next week will be better. InsyaAllah~

START PLANNING NOW!

OLRAIT, I;LL BUY A VERY CUTE PLANNER TOMORROW =)

sent it and now i can go back being sick peacefully~

yeah you read that right. i am not well, with flu attack and slight fever, i am not well. my nose's been blocked since last night. and my throat sore like..erm...sore la. and i got one mouth ulcer which make it difficult for me to chew. nice huh? a rare opportunity to stop eating. right?

yea right. i just gobbled 2 large pizza hut slices i bought after sending my thesis to be binded. Bought it to 'chia' for my family since they have been really supportive. ade korang cakap terima kasih kat mak thesis dah siap? takde? sila pegi beli pizza skarang!

hope i will be well before going to visit adam this weekend. eii cant wait. till then people.

tido pun nak senyum jugak

i am so exhausted. mentally and physically. spent a day at Jalan TAR getting new stocks for shawls. and mentally because i am rushing against the very the limited time to polish up my thesis. dammit. i spent almost 3 hours fixing the what..erm..format, indent, spacing, and what not. havent started with the grammar and structures. my eyes are damn heavy right now. i woke up as early as 4.30a.m - due to minor flu attack and restless mind. i was thinking about my thesis the whole night. i left my laptop charger at home and i couldnt do anything about my thesis. what a bad week.

okkkaayyy..enough crappin. just now i called B. my head was heavy. my flu's getting worst. and i was sooo sleepy. we chatted for a while. then he said he wanted to sing for me. so i let him sing.

he sang 'Just The Way You are by Bruno Mars! I am seriously touched. you know he's been practicing how to sing that song. and before he sang, he told me he was quite nervous. cute. ok la..sila pergi muntah.

his singing made me smile. enough said =)

from here

Good night people. have beautiful dream everybody! =)

Jom Kahwin!

Sejak aku dah bagi tau mak abah aku nak kahwin, kepala aku start serabut. Serabut sebab pasal duit. Boleh ke gtu? Orang lain serabut fikir tanggung jawab. aku pasal duit. rata-rata blog kahwin yang aku pegi (ye aku segan nak tanya orang so aku pegi stalk blog orang) semua bagitau kalau takde at least rm15K takyah la fikir nak kahwin. aku punya saving baru half dari tu. mana nak cekau lagi separuh?

so last week, aku googled, yahooed apa lagi korang nak, asik ternampak benda alah ni:

Serious, suma blog bakal-bakal pengantin ade je iklan ni. Blog kad kahwin,hantaran, mak handam pak handam suma ada. so aku pun interested to know la kan since tagline die 'mana nak carik duit untuk orang pokai macam kau'... takde la. aku made up je but the message transferred to me almost like that la. so click la. dah tu E-book ropenye.....

mula-mula malas nak layan. tp ko tau tak kalau dah desperate tak berduit, ko buat ape sajork. so aku pun TERbeli la buku tu. tak mahai mana pon eh..rm20. tak sampai 10 minute bayar ada email. soh donlod. so aku donlod la. pastu tak baca pon..miahaha

sampai la beberapa hari kendian, aku pon start la baca. pergh!! memang best. dia cakap sikit2 je pasal hukum-hukum kahwin ni. tp fokus ngn pengurusan kewangan. memang bagus la. bagi idea tips macam mana nak jimat. nak tambah pendapatan. memang berbaloi for rm20.

serious stress woo pike hal duit. tapi takpe. dalam buku tu pun ada sebut. kalau niat ikhlas, insyaAllah semua urusan dipermudah. dipermudah je ye. bukan duit datang gedebuk atas kepala. so chaiyo!!

oh ye..kepada yg nak beli buku tu, mai la klik sini.berbaloi baloi orait!

Mano nak carik duit nak kahwin ni?

p/s ye ni part time aku resell e-book nih. kalau berminat, beli la ye. tapi kot-kot rasa tak nak kawen lagi tp ingin membantu diriku ini berduit tahun depan, tolong la beli. eheh win-win situation bah..=)

random

i have so many things to say but have to go to the toilet so i'll say in a summary manner

torrent HIMYM is slow bahu tergeliat sebab menggeliat kuat sgt malam tadi basuh baju malas balik ukm rumah belum kemas minyak kereta empty exam next week shit! jgn menyibuk boleh tak bla bla bla denise buat bodo thesis macam bini gantung takbertali duit makin skit nak breakfast apa pagi ni mom's going to kuching adik going's to penang will be alone nak balik bila tak sure malas $^&*()(&%^

*tak tahan nak pi toilet!

The lazy Sarawak Layer Cake

Last week, my abah and umi went to Brunei to arrange some matters. They bought Layer Cake for us.

You know, for all the years i have been eating Kek Lapis Sarawak, i've seen so many designs and taste different flavours. but never in my life, i met this kind of layer cake.

did you see it? did you? did you?

Ok la, i'll tell you.

1. it's not layered bah...see, got holes la...when you touch it, the slice's kinda wiggly because it wasnt layered properly.
2. it's like the baker arrange all the pieces and wrap it. i also can do that.
3. FYI, this was bought at the airport so it should be the quality one right?

as it looks, the taste is also horrible. i believe this cake will just rot in the fridge.miahhaa

Thank you

it took a lot of my guts to announce about my wedding plan. i am not sure how people around me would react. i was not confident about the acceptance of people around me. I am not working yet and some people consider 24 is a very young age to get married. and most important thing my partner is from across the South China Sea. hence the lame previous post. hehe

but Alhamdulillah, all the feedbacks were encouraging. Happy am I!! 

But of course there were advices from the elders about the risk i am taking. Especially my mom and my grandma. They are worried about me marrying a man from Borneo because definitely i'll be following him there. quote, " Nanti sakit pening sape nak peduli"...since few years ago they have been dropping hints to find a man nearer to home. but the problem is i never find any good man like B. no this is not a cliche. I think i never find some one else because i never look for one =)

 if you know B you'll agree with my choice. He's a good man, patient and a bit blur sometimes. He turns his life 360% degree to prove to my parents that he's capable of taking care of me. He's not a boy I dated in secondary school, he is a different man. but he's not perfect. there's also the negative sides of him. but so do I. that's what a couple should be right? completing the missing parts of each other, no? yes i would say.

well, like itself is a gamble. and marriage is included. if i marry a man from the same village pun it's not a guarantee i'll be safe and happy, right?

but i believe in asking for blessing before doing anything. i hope my family is happy with my choice and will continue praying for it =)

p/s i know few would say 'alah belum kahwin bole la puji2". i know that. but could you please preserve this happy moment? at least till i am married? =)

i dunno what title i should put for this post. =)

Finally, after much prayers, hopes, fights - B and I are getting married end of next year. The exact date is yet to be decided but it's in the month of December. Parents from both sides are informed about this and we got the blessing. it still feels surreal to me but well, i am heading towards a new journey now. Pray for us!

I have not started with any preparation yet. too early dont you think? But his parents will come to my house in Malacca for Merisik and Bertunang next April. Tickets have been booked. Now waiting for the day to come, practically half a year from now.hehe

i am worried much about the flight tickets. i swear the moment we are done choosing the date i;m soo gonna book my family tickets. that instant. because if my calculation is correct, it will burn RM5000 of my savings. die la..


now my head is kinda serabut. have to think about the preparation but must follow the budget strictly. not working yet but got la some savings..hehe

How I spent my Friday~

Had a great outing with Ambun Leen. Pics will do the talking. =)

 IKEA meatballs to die for~

 di rumah urut..

motif gambar ni kan?